Sunday night’s “Breaking Bad” finale deserves to end up being the highest rated show of the entire series. The buildup to the last episode has been masterful. By Monday morning the Walter White story will be fully defined. Its curtain closing moments are guaranteed to be debated and picked apart in the same was we did with “The Sopranos”.
My hope is the show takes a page from the movie “Clue” and offers multiple endings for the story. It might be sloppy storytelling, but I’m hoping to squeeze as much Breaking Bad material into my life as possible. Here are some submissions for other endings that Vince Gilligan should consider using on Sunday.
The Two and a Half Men Ending
Walter is on his way to confront Uncle Jack and Todd when his new wacky neighbor, played by guest star Christine Baranski, begs Walt to help her. Her Mom is coming to visit and she needs Walt to help her keep a lie going by pretending to be her boyfriend. This leads to comedic gold as Walt has to explain to a shocked Skyler the situation without revealing himself to the new neighbor’s Mom. Then Walter Junior comes back from school and ruins Walt’s plan by calling him Dad. The ruse fails, and the White family returns home to drink coffee out of large mugs and be serenaded by the audience laugh track.
The Monday Night Football Ending
Leading up to the show’s start is a four hour pregame show featuring Jon Gruden interviewing Jessie about what it takes to lead men on the field of battle. Suzie Kolber has a piece on “Being Marie”, and Chris Berman starts calling Walt, “Walter White Flag”. The actual finale is five minutes of action followed by forty minutes of commercials. Todd becomes lowest fantasy scorer for week 4.
The DEA finds a fleck of Walter Junior’s crutch at the scene of Hank’s murder. The fleck must have stuck to Walt’s pant leg earlier and found using one of those large UV lights. Numerous cuts of Walt in slow motion committing his crimes along with sped up shots of New Mexico. Later one of Skyler’s stray pubic hairs is found at Ted’s home prompting the police to arrest her on charges of attempted murder. Oh and lots of classic rock.
Walt busts down the doors to Uncle Jack’s compound, but instead finds Saul’s secretary inside. She’s been insecure her entire life, and decided to create this fake persona of Uncle Jack in order to play out her fantasies. She’s obviously embarrassed about the situation, but she doesn’t regret her choices. She hopes now that Walt knows the truth they can start over with their relationship. Walt shoots her in the head.
Keeping up with the Kardashians Ending
Walt starts to become jealous about the amount of attention that Skyler is getting from the family. In order to show how big her ego is getting Walt plans an extensive prank that involves Khloe convincing Skyler to throw a holiday party. Skyler thinks all of her friends are going to be there, but in the end it is only Walt for a romantic candlelit dinner at a restaurant that gets numerous mentions in exchange for free food. In the end of the show Walt has to fly to Vegas for a club appearance.
My Breaking Bad Prediction
I’m in the camp that thinks Walt will end up taking the ricin before turning himself into the police. Then Walt dies peacefully in prison and Skyler is free from the police. Before all of that Uncle Jack and Todd will endure a horrible death from Walt’s machine gun. Jesse survives and moves to Alaska where he finds himself cooking meth again. New show is born.