The end is near for our favorite New York City fivesome, as How I Met Your Mother airs its final episode on March 31st. It’s a good thing the writers decided to have this season take place entirely during Barney and Robin’s wedding weekend, because so much has gone on in that time that there’s no way they could have wedged it into just an episode or two. Or if they had, they wouldn’t have been able to include all of the flashbacks or, most importantly, the flash forwards, of which there was an essential one at the end of this week’s episode.
The episode begins right where the last one ended, with Tracy Ullman showing up at the Farhampton Inn to attend the wedding and be Robin’s inexplicably British mother. I thought her family was, like, SO Canadian, eh? Guess not. In any case, that scene doesn’t last long because it’s time to check in with Barney and the gents, sitting on the hotel’s patio and enjoying one another’s company. Robin calls Barney to let him know that her mom is there, and he doesn’t freak out. I kind of expected him to freak out. Maybe the prospect of marriage really has changed him.
The guys discuss Marshall’s pending judgeship, and Rajit the cab driver asks if he can get him a driver’s license (!!). Turns out they’ve all been putting their lives on the line getting in the car with him over the years.
Billy Zabka, the erstwhile best man, tells the group that he was dirt biking out late the night before and stopped at a convenience store. He saw Lily come out and get in the back of a car. The license plate said “AHOY!!!” In other words … The Captain!
Marshall decides that there’s nothing else to do but punch the Captain in the face, so Rajit (illegally) drives them all to his house. Prior to their arrival, we get a glimpse inside the Captain’s house. He and his cleaning staff are talking, except they are not talking. They’re singing. Von-Trapp-family style. Isn’t this the guy that used to be married to super-cool Zoey? But anyway.
Meanwhile, Robin and her mom are discussing marriage. Robin is worried her marriage won’t work out since her parents’ didn’t. Robin’s mom insists they’ll be fine and says that there were hundreds of red flags in their marriage, such as: Robin’s dad was previously engaged to an exotic dancer, he pretended to be an aristocrat in a painting, he always sided with his mother, he never checked with his wife before making plans, they had a huge fight right before their rehearsal dinner, the first ten years she knew him she didn’t know what he did for a living. So in other words, ROBIN IS MARRYING HER DAD.
Back at the Captain’s house, we learn he is engaged to the girl from the “Boats Boats Boats” commercial, who Ted also dated, so they continue to awkwardly have the same taste in women (I’m waiting to find out how The Mother is also somehow connected to the Captain). Marshall wastes no time punching the Captain, but once he’s given a chance to explain, he tells the guys that all Lily did when she came over the night before was use the powder room.
Robin’s mom is telling Robin that Barney is nothing like her dad because her dad slept with over twenty women before they were married, and her mom had to watch him “lie to all those poor girls to get inside their snowpants.” Yeesh.
Ted decides he has solved the mystery of Lily’s visit to the Captain’s powder room. As we know, Ted has many aspirations, and apparently included among those is a desire to be a detective. He calls himself the Mosby Boys (never mind that there is only one of him) and proceeds to draw out his conclusions to an excruciating length. Here’s the gist of what he’s realized: He remembers Lily chewing gum at the hotel the other day. The one thing Lily does when she and Marshall are apart is start smoking again. Ted thinks that the reason she “pretended” to be annoyed with him while they were in the car driving up from the city was so she could take the train instead and get in a good smoke. That’s why she was chewing gum at the hotel: her breath smelled. But after Marshall showed up, Lily got stressed because of their fight, and that’s why she asks the Captain if she could come over. She has one last cigarette and leaves the butt in a potted daisy the Captain has in his powder room. Tah-dah! Ted is a genius.
But when the Captain brings out the daisy, what the Mosby Boy pulls out is not a cigarette butt at all … it’s a pregnancy test!
Turns out, Lily was puking on the train. All those drinks Linus has been putting in her hand have been non-alcoholic (which kind of ruined that gag for me–what were those drinks doing for her?). And she ran out on Marshall because his comment about he and Marvin and “any other children” they might have being a consolation prize was just too much for her. She went to the Captain’s to take her pregnancy test. And it’s positive.
They go back to the hotel. Barney meets Robin’s mom but it’s a total non-event since all the focus is on Marshall and Lily. Hopefully Ullman and Neil Patrick Harris will have an opportunity to play off each other before all’s said and done. Lily tells Marshall she doesn’t want to go to Italy now, but he insists that they should. Robin and her mom go out on the balcony to give those two some private time, and Robin’s mom assures her that if she has someone she can depend on, she’ll be fine. All Robin says is, “I do,” and I couldn’t help but cringe at the thought that she might be talking about Ted, not Barney. The Ted-Robin saga supposedly closed when he let go of her on the beach, and it simply MUST be closed given that we’re only three episodes from the end!
One year later, Marshall and Lily are arguing about Funyuns in Italian on a balcony in Rome. They switch to English when they decide to take their kids out for a walk. We get a look at the little one in the stroller, and it’s a girl named Daisy. D’awwwwww.