This week’s episode begins in a loud, dark club with two bartenders. The one who makes the insightful comment that “Relationships are like motorcycles–eventually they all crash” is THE VICTIM. In an advertising office, two workers, Gordon and Heather, banter about a guy Heather met online and then was going to meet in person. Apparently his profile picture looked like Ryan Gosling, which is not what he looked like in real life. (To be fair, no one does, except for actual Ryan Gosling.) Despite the fact that they are talking about a guy she went out with, the banter between the two of them is flirtatious. She pouts that he never noticed her new haircut, and he directs her to her top drawer, wherein lies a drawing he made of her with the caption “cute hair.” She pouts again that she can’t ever meet a guy like him, and then we learn that she is THE KILLER. My guess is she’s also the “bad blonde.”
We get a rare early glimpse at the killer’s panic after the crime when Heather calls Gordon later that night and begs him to come help her. He finds her in the entrance to a change room at the beach, alone and covered in blood. “I didn’t have any choice,” she says.
At the crime scene, there is a lot of blood. Blood on top of blood and also some more blood. If it’s all one person’s blood, it was definitely a homicide, and a violent one at that. All the detectives find in their initial sweep is a piece of broken jewelry.
Back at Heather’s apartment, she has showered and washed all the blood off of her. Gordon is freaking out, saying they should call the police, that if it was self-defense she’d be fine. He also says, “Heather, you killed Jake!”, so evidently they both knew him already. Heather gets upset that Gordon doesn’t believe her, so he changes his tone and insists that he does.
Flashback to Gordon, his wife, and Heather in what looks like the same club from earlier. They are celebrating the ascent of their company, Offensive Web Communications. Someone should probably tell them that it’s a really bad idea to put the word “offensive” in the name of a company. The wife clearly doesn’t like Heather at all, and she tells Gordon that their therapist said they should be making time for themselves. He promises to make it up to her. Heather is off dancing on her own, because they were too lame to join her.
Dr. Rogers is a little annoyed at the detectives for bringing her out to the crime scene when there is no body, but she’s able to conclude that that victim could be alive, though he won’t be by the time he loses another liter of blood. He looks to be doing that by the drips coming off the back of Gordon’s car as he and Heather drive out to the woods to dump him. Heather found the info on a website: You just dump the body somewhere no one will see it and let nature take its course. Apparently neither Heather nor the writer for that site has ever seen a cop show before.
The detectives find a homeless man hanging out near the change room. He has blood on his shoe, and he produces the rest of the broken piece of jewelry Flynn found earlier. It’s a medical alert bracelet, because Jake was diabetic. Dr. Rogers is able to trace it back to him, so at least they have a name now, if not a body.
Heather persuades Gordon that they need to go to his parents’ house to bury the body. I don’t need to tell you what an incredibly stupid idea THAT is. Gordon doesn’t actually seem to need much persuading. He’s clearly very attached to Heather, to the point that when his wife, Kim, calls and tells him she loves him, he says “Me too.” That’s what you do when you don’t want the person you’re with to hear you say “I love you.”
Back to that club scene when Heather and Gordon are celebrating. This is also when Heather meets Jake. He comes onto the floor of the club to oust a pervert who is groping everybody. After the groper punches Jake, Heather punches the groper. Jake thanks her for defending his honor.
Jake’s father opens up his apartment for the detectives. They haven’t told him his son is dead because without a body, they can’t be sure that he is. The most useful piece of information Mr. Daly gives them is that his son was engaged to a woman named Sheri who left him at the altar. Hence the “crash” comment from the first scene.
Gordon stops by his house to get the keys to his parents’, and manages to avoid his wife. He tells Heather he hopes she knows this could ruin his marriage. She just says that they’ve been having problems for a long time and he can do better. As they drive away, more blood drips off the car. These are very stupid criminals who are doing a horrible job covering their tracks.
Flashback to Heather and Jake hooking up at his place. She asks him not to pretend like this is something more than fun, and he says it is something more than that. Long, romantic kiss.
A friend of Jake’s tells the detectives that Jake was seeing a girl named Heather, but says he didn’t know more than that because Jake didn’t want to jinx it. I think it’s safe to say that he did jinx it in a very big way, though we’ve yet to know how.
Back at the club, Gordon is telling Jake all about how Heather has had so many boyfriends. She gets angry and pulls him aside. He says he just doesn’t want to see her get her heart broken by another loser, but the look he gives her as she walks away is quite obviously a longing one.
The detectives still don’t know much about Heather, but they do know that Jake has two profiles on a social media site called “My Face” (clever). In one, he says he’s in a relationship with Heather Williamson, but in the other, he’s pictured in dozens of intimate photos with a pretty brunette. Uh-oh Jake, what did you do?
Flynn tracks down Heather on her cell phone and asks her to come to the station. Heather says half an hour, but I really don’t see how she can dismember and dispose of Jake’s body in that small amount of time.
She solves that problem by having Gordon drive her to the station and then telling him to go back and take care of it. Nice. Heather does the best job so far this season of playing it cool with the detectives. She even acts confused about why she’s with homicide when all they’ve told her is that Jake’s parents are a little worried about him. She doesn’t miss an opportunity to promote her company, though, complete with business cards.
Gordon, with a hacksaw and plastic sheeting, gets ready to go to work on Jake. This is a man who will do anything for the woman he is doing this for. Heather calls him to tell him she’s done at the station but that she’s going home to get rid of other evidence. She seems more than a little miffed that he’s not done with the body yet. How about, thanks for putting your own life at risk by sawing apart the body of this guy I killed? Jeez. Meanwhile, the detectives receive Jake’s phone records and see that he called Gordon at 4:00 am. They also see that Gordon has an Accord, which has the type of tire treads they found near the murder scene.
Pulling up to Gordon’s house, the detectives drive right over the pool of blood that dripped off his car earlier. They meet Kim coming out of the house, saying that she’s going to meet Gordon at their therapist’s office. They give her a ride, then wait with her for an hour while she waits for him. He doesn’t show, because he’s too busy cutting a body into pieces. Back at the station, the detectives bring in Jake’s father, who identifies the woman from Jake’s other My Face profile as his ex, Sheri.
The detectives let Kim know that Jake lied to her about the phone call he allegedly got from his office’s alarm company at 4:00 am. The call came from Jake’s phone. Kim seems somewhat surprised that he was dishonest, but not really. After all, this is a guy who consistently claims to love his wife, not his hot business partner.
Lucas runs Gordon’s financials and finds that he just purchased duct tape, plastic sheeting, and a hacksaw. Super smart use of your credit card there, Gordo. Meanwhile, Officer Sung is staking out Heather’s townhouse. Inside, Heather cleans up from the night before, but hesitates before throwing out the cute boots she wore while committing the murder. Classy gal.
Kim calls Heather to let her know that the police are looking for Gordon. This makes Heather think that the body disposal should happen really soon, so she calls Gordon and feeds him a bunch of lines about how much she loves and appreciates him. That’s all the motivation he needs to speed things up, though he still can’t bring himself to use the saw. He gets a shovel and starts wrapping the body in sheeting. Meanwhile, Heather calls 911 to say that she thinks a friend of hers might be involved in Jake’s disappearance. I was waiting for that. And it’s well-played on Heather’s part, because the detectives have been looking for Gordon and Jake’s body, and they find them.
At the police station, Heather feeds Vega a bunch of teary lies about how Gordon told her he had “taken care of it” for her. The horrible irony of all this is that she obviously trusts Gordon not to rat her out, but she has shown that she herself could never be that kind of friend. He does not rat her out, but asks for a lawyer instead.
As Gordon is led away, Heather is also leaving. Kim stands just outside the doors. She calls out to Gordon, but he doesn’t even see her. He only sees Heather, and tries again and again to get her attention. But she barely glances at him.
Flynn starts to get one of her hunches when Dr. Rogers pinpoints the time of death between 3:00 and 5:00 am. She wonders if Jake was already dead when the call from his phone was placed at 4:00 am. She wonders if Heather saw the profile page with pictures of Jake and Sheri and snapped. They call Sheri in, but she says the photos of the two of them are from before they broke up. The nudie photos are from a week ago, and someone would have had to hack Sheri’s phone to get them. A little more investigating turns up the fact that the profile page is only a week old itself, leading the detectives to believe that it was meant to be found.
And it was. Gordon made it so Heather would find it. His jealous creepiness knows no bounds. And finding it is exactly what led Heather to lure Jake down to the change room, where she accused him of cheating. He called her a psycho bitch, and she proved it. The only person I feel sorry for in this whole scenario is Kim. Just another poor, innocent woman caught in the crossfire.