Hidden Remote
Fansided

Ballers: The entire cast is blindsided by a Crackback

By Greg O'Shalae

facebooktwitterreddit

Credit: Jeff Daly/HBO/Ballers

The NFL’s crackback block rule protects the players. On Ballers, everyone should be prepared to defend themselves from oncoming professional and personal crackbacks.

The history of the crackback block goes back to the ’70s. The NFL put it in to save players from hits that caught them below the belt and by surprise. The combo was more likely to cause injury. In the Crackback episode of Ballers, the same type of damaging low-blows were felt over and over again.

On the way to Oakland, Strasmore is blistered.

Spencer Strasmore (Dwayne Johnson) and girlfriend Chloe (Serinda Swan) talk at the airport before both depart to Vegas. Spencer apologizes for his “misfire,” and Chloe jokes about the morning after pills in her hands. She wonders out loud why the packages are so difficult to open, and Spencer ponders if it’s so women reconsider the choice. With minimal elegance, he asks her if she ever though about not taking the pill and having a baby (Crackback!). Chloe rightfully asks if Spencer is saying this because of a mid-life crisis or if he actually wants a baby with her. Moments later, she takes the pill and wishes him hope and more eloquence when meeting with the owners of the Raiders.

It’s time to meet with the Raiders.

While Too Short’s I’m a Player pumps in the limo speakers, Joe (Rob Corddry) busts Spencer’s balls about checking his phone. Spencer is clearly worried about Chloe, his sperm count, his occupation, the Raiders, global warming, etc. Dude has serious stress. Joe calls him a “p*ssy” and tells him to focus on the Raiders.

Joe gets out of the limo and sends a follow-up text: “You better not call her! Stand tall!”

Crackbacked by the Raiders

Spencer sits with Tim Brown and the Raiders front office. They quickly inform him there is a competing offer (Crackback!). Spencer believed in the good faith negotiation, but the Raiders don’t care because the other, secret offer has league endorsement. They want more from Spencer in order to land the deal, and he’s pissed.

Crackbacked by the league

Fresh off the meeting, Spencer receives a call from Joe. It turns out Candace (Emayatzy Corinealdi) was behind the subterfuge (Crackback!). She was nice to Joe at the owners’ meeting, but Joe admits it’s not the first time a woman faked it with him.

After the phone call Joe talks with Candace a bit more, and even intimates that she is stewing up something in Vegas. She claims innocence, and pretends not to have an interest in the game. After the pair part ways, Joe calls her an “evil bitch.”

Later at a league party, Spencer talks to Candace. Candace proposes a merged bid between his group and the other investors. Spencer isn’t on board, but Candace closes with an ominous parting shot, “You can’t win, they won’t let you.” (Crackback!)

The wise limo driver / Raider fan

The Raiders’ limo driver, Melvin Graham (David Raibon) has been with the team for over two decades. He speaks as a man who values family and his Raider team, in that order. Melvin mentions that Spencer talks like someone who doesn’t have kids (Crackback!), because the job is obviously most important.

Credit: Jeff Daly/HBO/Ballers

Melvin takes Spencer and Joe to a BBQ place, pondering if it will survive the team’s departure. He tells them he hopes the deal falls flat. Later they drive to the Oakland Coliseum, and Melvin questions the move. He asks how they’re going to get in, and Joe replies, “We’re gonna fly.” They scale the fence instead, and Melvin calls them “crazy m*t#erf*ckers.”

The final crackback

Despite the bad news, Spencer still has high hopes for the Vegas deal going to ASM. When he gets a call from Hastings (Guttenberg), however, everything changes. Hastings is going with the competing offer (Crackback!).

Ricky might be seeing clearly now.

On the phone, Ricky (John David Washington) tells Amber (Brittany Hall) he’s ready to be a dad. He ends with “I love you,” and TTD (Carl McDowell) drops his bong in shock (Crackback!).

"TTD: “You barely know her, how the f*ck can you be in love with her?”"

Even though the pair argue over whether a grown man can eat ice cream from a cone – unequivocal yes – TTD and Dennis (Robert Wisdom) are worried about Ricky, and don’t believe he’s taking the concussion seriously enough. Mentioning the late Chicago Bears great Dave Duerson, who died of CTE-related suicide, Dennis convinces Ricky to see a specialist before deciding on his future, particularly any impending deal with the Patriots (Crackback!). Previously Ricky was adamant about securing his financial future and taking any offer the Pats would give. He’s truly at a personal crossroad.

Meeting with the Patriots

Credit: Jeff Daly/HBO/Ballers

A Patriots rep meets with Ricky and his agent Jason (Troy Garity). The offer on the table is two years for $16M guaranteed. Ricky balks at signing it, then admits to his concussion. Stunned (Crackback!), the Patriots rep wants to confirm if it’s bipolar and a concussion, or just a concussion. Ricky admits to both, and the team rep says he has to make a call to the team outside.

Jason is similarly taken aback (Crackback!), and asks, “Why didn’t you tell me this earlier?” Ricky was scared of what the truth may be. Unfortunately for him, the Patriots rep drove away in his car and Ricky will have to face the more realistic possibility of his football mortality without a multi-million dollar deal.

Charles looks out for #1, steps in #2.

More from Hidden Remote

Charles Greane (Omar Benson Miller) successfully lobbied for Dolphins great Larry Csonka as the head coach, and it is clear management no longer has faith in GM Larry Siefert (Dulé Hill). No regrets for Charles. Once Csonka promises to win a lot of football games at his press conference, Charles has second doubts about submarining Siefert’s decisions. Csonka reassures him, and the writing is on the wall. Siefert is getting fired (Crackback!).

Looking out for #1

Charles wanted his GM to be more agreeable, but didn’t necessarily want to be the reason he got fired. He walks in on Siefert packing up the office and Siefert is complimentary. He tells Charles, “You played the game well.” Obviously Charles feels odd, saying, “It doesn’t seem right.” When Siefert relays that Charles is the obvious successor, however, suddenly Charles perks up.

Steps in #2

The Dolphins’ owner (Matt McCoy) talks to Charles and wants him to stay on as No. 2 (Crackback!). Since Charles had his hopes up, he’s not happy about the situation. The owner reassures him that the GM search will be swift, but Charles wonders if the GM will want to keep him around. Subsequently, the owner tells Charles that it’s completely up to the new GM (Crackback!). He went from looking out for No. 1 and being No. 2, to stepping in No. 2.

Later that night, Charles is getting drunk and drafting a resignation letter. He figures it provides better control over his destiny. Julie (Jazmyn Simon) ultimately supports the decision, and helps with the salutation:

Watch your favorite shows on fuboTV: Watch over 67 live sports and entertainment channels with a 7-day FREE trial!

There were two very lame parts of Ballers this week.

Cameos are fine. Give a former athlete one or two lines and call it a day. There does not, however, need to be multiple scenes where athletes attempt to show their acting chops. Please, let’s save the screen time for actual stars of the show. Considering Vernon Littlefield (Donovan Carter) and Reggie (London Brown) were AWOL from this episode, there was absolutely no reason to give Mark Schlereth, Marcellus Wiley and Jay Glazer significant time in front of the camera. Moreover, they certainly didn’t need two segments and a lame pseudo-show about Vegas.

Next: A fight on the horizon

Next week is the season finale of Ballers. Expect the Vegas deal to get finished, whether it’s with ASM or not. Charles may become a GM soon (as predicted), and Ricky could be done with football.

Ballers airs Sundays at 9/8c on HBO.

Home/HBO