The Ultimate Fighter 27 episode 9: There will be blood

The quarterfinals are over on The Ultimate Fighter: Undefeated. The semifinals start with a generous blood donation.

We’re not quite to the coach’s challenge, but it’s already time for the jokes. The group loosens up, but not nearly as much as one of the fighter’s gets loose on another’s face. The Ultimate Fighter: Undefeated can only have two undefeated fighters live up to the title, and the end is getting closer.

Did any of the fighter’s think they’d have two losses at the end of the show? With Mike Trizano facing John Gunther, there is a chance of that happening.

It’s time to jump in a sports car.

Labroghini, Ferrari, Porsche. Tires were squealing, rubber was burning. Of course Thug Nasty’s NASCAR-loving country persona fits with racing cars. Peas and carrots. Biscuits and gravy. They’re meant for one another. First time around and he’s drifting better than Lucas Black in Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift. Probably a better actor as well.

The TUF Talent Show

Bryce Mitchell and John Gunther decided to stage a talent show. First up was Kyler Phillips who decided to break dance. Afterwards, Bryce Mitchell shot arrows at apples…sitting on Luis Pena’s head. Hunting skills displayed, but no apples were hit.

John Gunther stole the show, however, with his midget skit. They called it the mini-John show. Helping John Gunther is Mike Trizano. Even though they have a fight on the horizon. The performance is epic, and John gets his first win of the season.

Coach Cormier brings in some studs.

So this team has Cormier, Cain, and now they also get to learn from Luke Rockhold and Max Holloway. To his credit, Holloway is really positive when asked about his losses. Luke Rockhold is also positive, despite having the second most likely porn name in the house due to Tyler Diamond’s presence.

During the visit, Luke and Max learn that Bryce Mitchell has never really used soap before. At least we now know where the nasty portion of his nickname comes from.

Mike Trizano Fight Prep

Stipe Miocic is not going to coach either guy. Instead, his assistants are taking over. Training isn’t splitting, however, because it’s not necessary. These two guys are pros. Trizano is very confident he’s going to outstrike John Gunther.

John Gunther Fight Prep

Make no mistake; John Gunther is the fresher fighter of the two. He only had 17 seconds in the ring, and is itching to get back into it. He gets a second chance to prove himself. Everyone in the house loves the guy. He makes boats out of empty water bottles, sleeps on the floor, and double-legs the tree before everyone in the morning wakes up. Additionally, he has the most epic mustache on The Ultimate Fighter.

There is some discussion about whether or not Gunther deserves the second chance, but it’s a mixed bag. His game-plan is pretty simple: move forward, throw punches, and “see what happens.” Take him down. Chase him down. Ground and pound. Even Luis Pena says Gunther’s striking is “beginner level,” which is hilarious considering his old-school 1800’s boxing stance during weigh-in showdowns.

• TUF 27
• LIGHTWEIGHT

Mike Trizano VS. John Gunther

6-0

RECORD

6-0

5'11

WEIGHT

5'9

155

HEIGHT

155

73

REACH

71.5

TUF 27 - LW Semi Final #1

Round 1

Low kicks from both. Wild right from John. Well timed inside low kick from Mike. Moments later John makes a horrible takedown attempt and an amateur spinning kick that Helen Keller saw. Mike’s standup is atrocious. He’s essentially Rocky, willing to take a punch to get inside. Credit given, however, because he gets takedown with pure willpower at about 3:40.

John has both of Mike’s legs trapped, and lays on top throwing pointless punches. He’s not high enough in mount to do damage, and has to move eventually. When he does, Mike gets a leg out. It’s clear Mike is worried about another guillotine, so he’s being cautious. Around 2:30 he pulls Mike down again. Up and down they go, and at 1:30 Mike gets a nice hip toss. The fight moves back to the feet and Mike absolutely picks John apart.

John’s next takedown attempt almost gets him in a standing anaconda, but he survives by rolling upside down awkwardly. He looks like a subordinate dog exposing his belly. The round ends with Mike butchering the skin on John’s face, ripping it to shreds in various locations.

10-9 Mike, but the takedowns could confuse.

Round 2

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Nothing for the first 30 seconds. Then Mike lands a knee, an uppercut, a nasty outside kick, and the kitchen sink. John’s bleeding already, and has thrown two spinning blows that look like a drunk person practicing Tai Chi in the park.

At 3:40 in the round John pushes against the cage. Mike uses a whizzer to escape, and destroys John’s face with a knee on the next takedown attempt. A funny thing happens, however, because John keeps moving forward. He’s now the Alpaca Zombie. John gets the takedown, but does very little. As Mike tries to get up, John takes it back down. Just over 1:00 to go in the round and Mike escapes to the feet. A few seconds later John takes another monster knee.

Takedown for John, but Mike reverses. Because he’s so awkward, John gets into a bottom-dominant position, with a 69 reverse cowgirl leg triangle that doesn’t really threaten anything other than manhood.

10-9 John, for perseverance

Round 3

Shocker, Mike can destroy John on the feet whenever he wants. Punches from every angle land. Mike could literally try out new stuff and it would work. Three straight uppercuts reopen John’s face and the blood pours. Leg kicks land like sledge hammers as John’s movement resembles a sedated Clay Guida.

Two minutes to go in the round and another uppercut lands for Mike. John, however, drives in for the takedown, completely disregarding the vicious elbows Mike is landing. Crack! John presses. Crack! John ignores. Crack! A fly landed on John.

They separate and John kisses several more uppercuts. After the show John and Mike’s right fist are going to get engaged. The ref thankfully pauses the fight to retrieve John’s mouthpiece, but John’s so bloody the ref doesn’t even want to put it in John’s mouth.

Only 40 seconds to go and Mike lands a takedown merely for points. Ten seconds later he lets John up, just so he can get another takedown. John’s feet are horrible. The rest of the fight is John donating blood to the canvas like the Red Cross is his scorned lover, and he’s trying to prove what his ex is missing.

Next: Shine bright like a diamond

29-28 Mike. It’s unanimous.

The next semi-final has Cormier featherweights Brad Katona and Bryce Mitchell face off. The Ultimate Fighter: Undefeated continues next Wednesday on Fox Sports.