The Simpsons with Artie Ziff recap: Half-Decent Proposal

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The Simpsons get an unexpected visit from Marge’s old boyfriend, who returns with an unusual offer in exchange for $1 million dollars.

Marge cannot sleep at the Simpsons’ because of Homer’s snoring and resolves to take him to see Dr. Hibbert. Dr. Hibbert presents a surgical option, but Homer takes one look at the price and refuses. Not sleeping is driving Marge crazy and eventually she becomes so desperate for a good night’s sleep she goes to Patty and Selma’s apartment. While there, they watch TV and see that Marge’s old boyfriend Artie Ziff has become incredibly wealthy.

Marge tells them the story about why she left Artie on prom night (because he got a bit too friendly and wouldn’t take no for an answer) and Patty and Selma decide to email Artie for Marge. Artie gets her email miles away in Silicon Valley and it seems that he hasn’t forgotten about Marge at all.

Going home after a good night’s sleep, Marge is in the middle of making breakfast when a helicopter lands on the Simpsons’ lawn. Not surprisingly, Artie Ziff gets off and discovers Marge is a married woman. But when he offers to take them both out for a ride on his giant yacht, Homer accepts. While aboard, Artie offers Homer a million dollars in exchange for a night with Marge, with the promise that there will be no sex and it is only to show her what a life with Artie would’ve been like. Marge angrily refuses and they leave.

But Homer realizes that Artie’s money means that they could afford the surgery and when Marge realizes this, she reluctantly accepts Artie’s offer. Homer feels reassured by Marge’s promises, but while talking to Moe, Lenny, and Carl, he begins to panic and resolves to get Marge back.

Meanwhile, Artie has restaged their senior prom at his mansion in the hope of showing Marge he was wrong to ruin their last prom. Homer tries to barge in, but is stopped by his old Principal. During their dance, Marge tells Artie that her opinion hasn’t changed and Artie concedes that he knows he can’t change her mind. But when he pretends to ask her for an innocent peck on the check, he grabs ahold of her to make out and refuses to let go, which Homers sees and panics about.

Marge is understandably furious and rejects Artie just like on their last prom night. She immediately runs to find Homer who is making plans to leave Springfield, but has left Marge a tape where he tells her he saw their kiss. He also adds that he’ll leave the kids with Patty and Selma (which Bart complains about on tape) before heading west with Lenny. The two sign up to work an oil rig which helps Marge track Homer’s whereabouts.

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Homer and Lenny wind up setting an oil rig on fire before being rescued by Marge, who has commandeered Artie’s helicopter. The Simpsons return home and while they don’t have the money, Artie has invented something to convert Homer’s snores into something pleasant. But it turns out Artie has installed a camera in it to watch Marge.