A dude’s Vanderpump Rules power rankings Season 7, Episode 18

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VANDERPUMP RULES — Pictured: (l-r) Katie Maloney-Schwartz, Kristen Doute, Scheana Shay, Brittany Cartwright — (Photo by: Isabella Vosmikova/Bravo) /

9. Scheana (last week’s ranking: 7)

Our first big moment regarding Scheana actually comes from her “not-quite-boy-toy” Adam back in America. He tells Lisa that the two have been texting but he isn’t answering as much. I’d give him props for outplaying her in the texting game, but honestly I think he’s just kind of clueless.

He even shows Lisa that Lara Croft photo (he is either very comfortable with their relationship, an idiot, or the producers couldn’t figure out how to get the photo in the hands of Lisa) and she takes it in stride. But the critical moment is where Adam says that he hopes Scheana doesn’t get too attached. Adam…you have met Scheana aka “ohmygodRobisthebestdidyouknowheoncewrassledanalligatorwithhisbarehandswhileridingamotorcylceovertheSpringfieldGorge?”

After the group returns to LA, Scheana reveals that Adam was awaiting her for some…well extra-curricular activities. She goes into a lot of detail about what took place the night before, and also shows us a video of Adam after he got a cramp during the “act.” As a man who has himself had such an issue, that’s just mean.

Scheana also deals with Billie’s frustration that James continues to get iced out and explains to Billie that her relationship with James is causing a rift between Billie and the rest of the group. She informs Billie that Jax and Brittany have elected to not invite her to their engagement party, purely based on her relationship with James.

8. Brittany (last week’s ranking: 6)

At one point Brittany says that she is “lucky” to have a fiance who cares about her well-being by preventing her from drinking alcohol while she has an ulcer like her doctor instructed. My girlfriend kindly points out that she is not “lucky” to have a boyfriend who has normal concerns about her health.

As the two are discussing their engagement party, Brittany goes through the guest list for their coming engagement party. Although she has a TON of people on her list, she does do a nice thing in trying to get Jax to invite his mother. He shoots down this idea, since the two still seem to be estranged following his dad’s passing

Billie becomes irate when she finds out that Jax and Brittany aren’t inviting her because she is close to James. She – rightly – breaks down because of this slight and seeks out Brittany to hash this out.

Brittany dodges the blows from Billie with all the deftness of me fighting Connor McGregor, namely, she cowers and hides. Brittany is all too happy to dump the decision on Jax’s plate. You know, she could have just said “we’re not that close and there’s a limited number of plates” instead of lumping this on Billie not falling for the mind-trick that James is evil incarnate.