The five biggest atrocities leaving Netflix in April

The five biggest atrocities leaving Netflix in April are a blend of foreign people and foreign concepts.

Every month Netflix giveth, and Netflix taketh. Some television shows and movies are rewarded with inclusion. Belonging. And others are thumped with the massive, red dodgeball of exclusion.

This month Netflix appears to have stuck to a few themes. Perhaps they decided alphabetically, or maybe the new Gillette ads had something to do with the selections. Nonetheless, here are the five biggest atrocities leaving Netflix in April.

Bond, dead Bond.

When’s the last time there was a Bond movie? It seems like ages ago. There has to have been at least four Jack Reacher movies since then. Or at least that’s how long it seems like Tom Cruise has been running. The interest is waning, and Bond gets shaken, stirred, and completely disregarded by Netflix.

Having said that, there is only one Bond atrocity leaving the streaming giant: Die Another Day.

Pierce Brosnan completely phones it in like he did the movie to get his kid into an expensive college. Halle Berry makes everyone wish they were watching Catwoman instead. What makes it completely over the top unbearable, however, is the invisible car, Fast and the Furious masturbatory, crash into Superman’s Dad’s house, ice lake chase. Good grief.