Wife Swap recap: Ranking the Lobdells and Moons

Get the popcorn ready! (Photo by Justin Sullivan/Getty Images)
Get the popcorn ready! (Photo by Justin Sullivan/Getty Images) /
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This week’s episode of Wife Swap features a switch between a no-nonsense fire chief wife and a more conservative stay-at-home mom.

On Episode 2 of the new season of Wife Swap, the Lobdell family swaps with the Moons. Halani Lobdell is a fierce fire chief, the youngest ever on her battalion. She doesn’t tolerate nonsense from anyone and rules over her work and home with an iron fist.

Misty Moon is as polar opposite as can be. She’s a stay-at-home mom to two daughters and a primitive husband who believes in outdated gender roles and refuses to lift a finger to help her around the house. Here’s my official ranking of all spouses involved.

4. Jack Moon

What a neanderthal. Seriously, what cave did this guy come out of? He believes women belong in the kitchen and should always be wearing make-up. He can’t fend for himself and he keeps his daughters locked in their rooms at night so he can have “adult” time with his wife. They have to knock to seek permission to walk around their own home after dinner. If that’s not creepy as heck I don’t know what is.

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This guy is one of the absolute worst husbands ever featured on this show. How anyone stays married to him is a total mystery because he doesn’t have one single thing going for him, not even a brain cell.

3. Misty Moon

I feel bad for Misty. She seems miserable in all the confessionals with Jack. I’m guessing she’s staying with him for the comfort and her daughters because I don’t see how anyone could be happy living with that man! If she enjoys homemaking and providing for her family, that’s great!

But Misty complains frequently about not enjoying the set-up she’s in now. Jack doesn’t let her do anything without his permission, he’s very much “my way or the high way” and she spends five to six hours a week prepping his meals. He’s a bodybuilder and eats six meals a day!

Her way of fixing up the Lobdell house is mainly by initiating more family time, which really isn’t a bad idea. The Lobdell family isn’t doing so bad, it’s Jack that needs all the work and more.

2. Jason Lobdell

More of a third child than a husband, Jason may be lazy but if you compare him to Jack you’d think he was Prince Charming. Sure he might not spend enough time with his kids and be obsessed with his phone, but for the most part, Jason is a pretty nice, respectable guy who actually treats his wife like a partner and not a maid.

1. Halani Lobdell

I declare Halani the champ of this episode if only because she was forced to put up with Jack’s stupidity. I couldn’t blame her for leaving the house on the last night because he wouldn’t stop arguing with her. He refused to follow any of her rule changes.

The only one he eventually came around to is cooking and understanding that his wife needs free time. Imagine not knowing that or being courteous enough to consider it before! I wanted Halani to snap and blow up on him, he deserves it.

Next. Wife Swap returns: Top crazy moments from the premiere. dark

A new episode of Wife Swap premieres April 18 at 9/8c on Paramount Network.