A dude’s Vanderpump Rules power rankings: Season 7, Episode 20

VANDERPUMP RULES -- Pictured: (l-r) Lala Kent, Kristen Doute, Scheana Shay -- (Photo by: Isabella Vosmikova/Bravo)
VANDERPUMP RULES -- Pictured: (l-r) Lala Kent, Kristen Doute, Scheana Shay -- (Photo by: Isabella Vosmikova/Bravo) /
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VANDERPUMP RULES — “Girls’ Night In” Episode 707 — Pictured: (l-r) Kristen Doute, Katie Maloney-Schwartz — (Photo by: Nicole Weingart)
VANDERPUMP RULES — “Girls’ Night In” Episode 707 — Pictured: (l-r) Kristen Doute, Katie Maloney-Schwartz — (Photo by: Nicole Weingart) /

10. Kristen (last week’s ranking: 7)

Kristen volunteers herself to be Brittany’s Maid of Honor, saying her OCD tendencies and total devotion will be an asset to her. If Brittany decides that her Maid of Honor, the person she likes and trusts the most in the world, is Kristen, I will never be able to respect her again.

When Brittany finally asks the girls to be her bridesmaids, Kristen just cannot help herself but to immediately try and claw to get the Maid of Honor position. When Brittany tells them that her sister will be Maid of Honor and Katie will be Matron of Honor. And Kristen loses it.

She sulks in the confession about how unfair it is that she lost out on this position that she totally deserves just because Brittany’s sister has 20 years on her and Katie is married. In Kristen’s mind, she’s the protagonist of the world and everyone else is against her, when in fact everyone in her life just merely seems to tolerate her.

I’ve literally never seen a person so unaware of their relationship to one of her closest friends and be so upset by such an insignificant slight in their life. Of course, Brittany wasn’t going to choose you over her sister, Katie, Stassi, Lala, Scheana, Lisa, Raquel, the camerawoman, Oprah, Congresswoman Jennifer Wexton, or any other female on Earth. We have seen exactly zero seconds of evidence that the two of you are particularly close, but we have seen those sorts of moments between her, Katie, and Stassi.

That being said, any episode of Vanderpump Rules that I get to watch Kristen throw herself an undeserved pity party I will take.