A dude’s Vanderpump Rules power rankings: Season 7, Episode 20

VANDERPUMP RULES -- Pictured: (l-r) Lala Kent, Kristen Doute, Scheana Shay -- (Photo by: Isabella Vosmikova/Bravo)
VANDERPUMP RULES -- Pictured: (l-r) Lala Kent, Kristen Doute, Scheana Shay -- (Photo by: Isabella Vosmikova/Bravo) /
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VANDERPUMP RULES — “Brittany and the Beast” Episode 720 — Pictured: (l-r) Tom Schwartz, Stassi Schroeder, Katie Maloney-Schwartz — (Photo by: Nicole Weingart/Bravo)
VANDERPUMP RULES — “Brittany and the Beast” Episode 720 — Pictured: (l-r) Tom Schwartz, Stassi Schroeder, Katie Maloney-Schwartz — (Photo by: Nicole Weingart/Bravo) /

9. Schwartz (last week’s ranking: 2)

MIA from this episode of Vanderpump Rules. Only referred to by that gangster move of bringing Lisa her money in all cash.

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8. Ariana (last week’s ranking: 5)

I do very much respect Ariana defending both Toms from Lisa’s constant badgering. She points out that they deserve the same level of respect from Lisa that anyone else does and she shouldn’t be talking smack about her partners.

She is upset that no matter what any of them do, Ariana feels Lisa will never truly respect them. To which I answer that unless they all can go back in time and undo seven seasons worth of debauchery and ridiculousness, Lisa Vanderpump will never respect you. And she is correct in that determination.

So she says that she is going to confront Lisa, which Stassi points out is never going to end well for her (including a flashback to that incredible exchange where Lisa called Stassi “not important enough to hate”). Ariana, I love you, but you’re bringing a spork to this battle of wits and Lisa’s got an arsenal that would make John Wick blush.

7. Scheana (last week’s ranking: 6)

At Billie’s Brunch, miss Scheana has a very candid talk with Adam. She says that she wants to be with him exclusively since they are always sleeping together and have a good time. Adam doesn’t feel the same way, but he also doesn’t want her dating another dude. Scheana throws that hypocrisy right back in his face and basically dares him to put a ring on it.

Later on, Adam sits down with the rest of the group sans Scheana as she is at home with another dude. The rest of the crew encourages him to nut up and make the exclusive decision, but he is just not ready to be in a relationship.

Not content to sit around and wait on Adam, Scheana brings a different boy toy whose name is unimportant over to her apartment and posts a Snapchat to all the girls. It’s all an underhanded ploy to get under Adam’s skin and I am all about that power play from her.

Sure enough, the next day Adam is texting her asking if she and the other guy hooked up. But he is getting angry at her, which in turn gets her all emotional and completely undercuts all my admiration that she built up over the course of the episode.

Scheana cries that she doesn’t want to lose her “best friend” and we get a montage of her calling Adam her “best friend” ala her constant talk about Rob, which makes me want to cut my ears off Van Gogh-style. I’m with Stassi, nut up and admit that he’s a f*ckboi and let him squirm on the hook like the worm he is. But please, for the love of God, quit pretending this guy is just your “best friend.”