The best WTF moments and quotes from Archer: 1999, Episode 3

On Archer: 1999, Pam had a bad sandwich and the crew tripped out on some alien eggs. How weird was Episode 3 of Archer: 1999?

Previously on Archer, the crew of the SS Seamus made their daring escape from Barry-6, Bort, and their inevitable doom via gladiator death match. Also, Mallory got to hijack a mechanical bird-monster named Funbeak and we found out Pam’s boners are quite the assault on a bystander’s sense of smell. What moments made us laugh or just shudder in last night’s episode of Archer: 1999?

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Man your battle stations!

In the first act of the episode, Cyril detects a warship closing in on Archer and Lana, who are exploring a nearby moon to find a fuel reactor they can use for the ship. Without much time before the Seamus is assaulted, Sterling springs into action. He directs each member of the crew to their stations, with some hilarious job descriptions.

While Cyril, Krieger, and Carol/Cheryl all have actual responsibilities (though, of course, Cheryl groans at the notion of her having to do anything) Archer says that Ray, the ship’s courtesan is “still useless.” But when he gives orders to Pam, we see that she is asleep on the job. That’s our Pam!

Pam’s sandwich

After Archer and Lana narrowly escape the opening peril (offscreen), Pam reveals that she has been craving a left-over sandwich from a previous pit stop. But upon entering the refrigeration unit, Archer and Lana discover Pam’s “sandwich” is actually a living, four-legged armadillo-like alien. Although Pam claims that the little beast was dead when it was a part of her sandwich and must have regenerated, it escapes into the air ducts and causes a lot of problems for our crew.

Sterling, of course, gets way too excited about the prospect of hunting an actual alien and gets to have a gear-up moment to dress like the grunts from Aliens. The gear is so heavy, he can barely walk, but luckily the pair won’t have to. The critter jumps out of an overhead air duct, but doesn’t attack and instead starts licking Archer’s face like a puppy. While also continuously spewing out eggs.

Unfortunately, because the little armadillo/alien went hog-wild on their food, Cyril calculates that they don’t have enough left to make it to the next spaceport. Archer, therefore, lets his little buddy go to town on the remaining food supply to the dismay of the rest of the crew. Of course, in all his dispassionate idiocy, Archer claims it doesn’t matter (which, yeah it doesn’t but still).

Cheryl/Carol becomes gleeful as the crew begins bickering, noting that soon they’ll be at each other’s throats and eating their crew-mates’ flesh. She volunteers to be first and when Ray asks whether that’s to eat someone else or be eaten herself, Carol crazily seems open to either. And even seems a bit turned on by the prospect of being eaten (literally) by Lana, who she was trying to kill in the last episode.