RHOC Season 14 Episode 2 power rankings: A not so happy housewarming

Between cocaine accusations and pig emojis, sparks fly between Kelly Dodd and newly dubbed “friend,” Vicki Gunvalsen on an all-new RHOC.

Tonight’s RHOC is notable for the fact it officially introduces the long-time Orange County scam artist Queen, Vicki Gunvalsen in her freshly demoted position, “friend of the housewives.”

Vicki shows up to Tamra’s housewarming party to confront Kelly about the pig emoji. She’s having war flashbacks to when Slade Smiley compared her to Miss Piggy, back in the day. But somehow doesn’t seem ready to own up to the cocaine rumor she started about Kelly (same old Vicki).

The good news is, this episode is more interesting than the premiere. The bad news is, this season still has some weird storylines that are making RHOC drag. Let’s get into this week’s Orange County housewife rankings.

6. Emily

Well, Shane is still being absolutely terrible. We also find out he’s Mormon, I present that fact with no comment.

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Otherwise, Shane blows off his wife and kids on Valentine’s Day. Shane is “studying” in the “library” and can’t even be bothered to come home for a family birthday party? When Emily finally gets him on the phone he claims he’s “being harassed” because his family dared to call him too many times.

Emily, you’re a lawyer! Be smart. Stand up for yourself! I cannot sit through 20 more scenes of her smelling her kids’ farts and laughing about the dog drinking toilet water; it’s not realistic.

5. Gina

I need to know what happened between the time this show was filmed and the time Gina did her confessionals. Her hair is a cry for help.

Gina is preparing to get back out in the dating world with help from Kelly. Apparently, the man she’s seeing is ten years older than her and super smart. She knows he’s smart because he doesn’t text with emojis and uses words like “respite.”

We don’t actually see how Gina’s Valentine’s night goes but we do find out that Vicki sent some nasty texts to Tamra calling Gina a jailbird. Tamra had no problem throwing Vicki under the bus to supply those receipts, did she?

I’m curious to find out if Gina will learn of Vicki’s deception or if we’ll have to wait until the reunion for that particular blowout.

4. Tamra

Oh Tamra, you pot-stirrer. She was so quick with those Vicki receipts on the text messages. I wonder if we’ll get a scene of her showing Gina was her faux-friend said. I mean are her and Vicki friends at this point?

It’s almost impossible to tell because Tamra flip-flops allegiances so often. She loves calling other women fake but honey, please look in the mirror. That said, her new house and decor are super cute, I’ll give her that.

3. Kelly

Jolie being harrassed continuously in her DMs just proves how big of a mistake social media was and those grown adults are just as immature as children. We get to see the repercussions of Vicki’s coke habit accusation that came out at last season’s reunion.

Apparently, Kelly’s daughter has been bearing the brunt of the abuse which is sad. However, Kelly retaliates in the only way she knows how, by hitting below the belt.

That said, I was kind of proud of her for not engaging in a war of words with Vicki this time. Instead, she let Vicki chase around the house like a Coto NASCAR in a fur jacket.

2. Braunwyn

For a new housewife, Braunwyn is fitting in surprisingly well with the group, particularly with Shannon. She, Tamra, and Shannon may just be the new “tres Amigas”.

What felt weird was the whole sexy interlude with her and her husband, Sean, who seems like a nice dude, going into their love shack to spend the night together. We also meet Braunwyn’s

Betsey Johnson

mom. She’s… interesting, to say the least. Once Burning Man was mentioned I just went, “ohhh.”

1. Shannon

Shannon gets the top of the list again this week. She didn’t really do much this week but she also didn’t do anything annoying either which is progress for her! Also, there’s no way people didn’t agree with her when she was asked about whether or not she was happy to see Emily and Shannon’s answer was a blunt, “No.”

Those two aren’t about to become friends again any time soon. It was also amusing to see Shannon and Tamra on the sidelines during Kelly vs. Vicki. They’re going to have to pick a lane soon though, I smell trouble brewing!

Odds & Ends

• Tamra asking why Braunwyn would do that to herself when she found out the woman has seven kids.
• Tamra and Shannon saying, “lap one” after Vicki chased Kelly around the house.
• WHY ARE THEY TRYING TO MAKE RYAN HAPPEN? PLEASE STOP.
• What was with that awkward Angry Birds promotion?

A new episode of RHOC premieres next Tuesday, August 20 on Bravo.