A dude’s power ranking of Vanderpump Rules Season 7, Episode 13

11. James (last week’s rank: 4)

At the start of the episode, James is DJing (not at one of the SUR family restaurants) and invites his boys to come out and enjoy. Sandoval, Schwartz, and Schwartz’s brothers all seem happy to be there, and in gratitude to James the two toms both invite James to join them on an upcoming trip they are planning. Keep the “both” in mind, it’ll come up later.

To my great irritation, Jax is also in attendance and subtly undermines James at every turn. He’s more than happy to enjoy the perks of James’s job (VIP lounge and drinks) but tells us that he still clearly hates the guy. He is as fake as everyone he accuses of being fake, with the added hypocrisy of thinking he’s one of the only honest ones.

Regardless, James tells the boys that he might be getting regular gigs at this new place. At this point, I’m pretty proud of the guy for the path he’s waged forward, becoming a more stable man. This feeling is eventually torpedoed spectacularly.

You see, later in the episode, James shows up at TomToms to ask Lisa for the chance to DJ for Billie’s brunch on Saturdays. Lisa eventually gives him his chance because she still cares for the kid. She points out that he had all the other opportunities but still seems to have a lot of desire to make things right with her and she respects that loyalty.

But then the guys tell James that he is disinvited from the Mexico trip and he takes it like one of those girls on My Super Sweet 16 whose parents didn’t get her the car she asked for but got her a just-as-nice model. James freaks out, calls Schwartz an a**hole in front of Lisa, insults Katie (and her weight) again, and breaks down like a child who had his toy taken away right next to the woman who just gave him another chance to work his way back into SUR or PUMP.

The irony of the situation is that this all comes after he was just boasting about all the anger management he’s going to and how it’s helping. But at the first, tiny slight, he forgets that and goes into full-on petulant, vicious a-hole mode. I get that getting disinvited and being ostracized is hurting James, especially as he’s done a lot to try to redeem himself, but good God, man, have a modicum of self-control.

You’re doing this next to Lisa Vanderpump as she’s trying to calm you down, and you don’t have the presence of mind to step out for some air, or silently seethe after leaving? Nope, better just double down and prove to everyone you’re still the same immature loser you’ve always been.

Later, in his confessional, he continues to rail and rage against Katie, calls her fat, and curses everyone out. Clearly, this was not a heat-of-the-moment issue and he can’t explain this one away on his drinking. This episode revealed, once and for all, that James is immature.