The best WTF moments and quotes from Archer: 1999, Episode 1

The laws of robotics

Krieger is taken aback by Archer saying the laws of robotics are made up and taken from a comic and it works on so many levels. Obviously, it’s a reference to the fact that those laws were written by science fiction writer Isaac Asimov. But it’s also a wonderful reference to the fact that Krieger has, in the past been both in love with a robot and had robot versions of himself and the rest of the crew.

There are a bunch of other little references to this throughout the episode, like Pam asking if Krieger is ever going to be a “real boy.” Krieger eventually does confirm that, yes, he is a robot (sorry, synthetic human), but it remains to be seen whether he can harm a human or if those three laws are actually bunk like Sterling said.

Carol and Lana’s talents

During the attack from the fighters, Carol seems quite reticent to get into the action as the ship is taking on heavy fire. Eventually, she gets out into the action and starts tearing through their pursuers. Archer makes an off-hand comment about how weird it is that Carol hates doing something she’s so good at.

This causes Lana to respond it’s not so weird since she has the same feelings about blow jobs. Not only is this so on point with the couple’s dynamic from past seasons, but it also inspires a hilarious exchange as Archer doubts Lana’s claim. That brings in Pam (who is, as always, perversely interested) and Cyril (who claims to have first-hand knowledge the claim is accurate before being intimidated into backing down by Lana).

It’s one of those scenes of tight dialogue that’s so reminiscent of the golden first seasons of Archer.

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Bort and Barry-6

It turns out that the little sentient blob that made it aboard the gang’s ship, named Bort the Garj, isn’t just of royal lineage, but is also a surprise of the series’ eternal antagonist, Barry (not to be confused with “other Barry”). Except now, Barry is a droid (modeled after the droid army in the Star Wars prequel trilogy) but that hasn’t removed his hatred of Sterling.

Barry-6 informs the gang that Archer owes the robot a considerable debt so he is going to torture and kill our “hero” for recompense. While Lana might initially be happy knowing that their ship is going to be all hers, that’s quickly quashed as Barry-6 reveals that the remaining crew will be sold off as slaves to a mining company. This gives Lana one last moment to jab at Archer for his misstep taking Bort to their ultimate doom, but Sterling is as aloof and nonchalant as ever.

Best quotes

"After Lana asks Bort how he speaks English BORT: Why don’t you ever ask [Pam] she’s clearly not a human? MALLORY: But not so clearly a “she.”"

Good to see that Mallory’s penchant for putting Pam down hasn’t gone away even as Mallory is a computer program and Pam is a giant, non-human creature.

"Archer, while calculating the vectors to Bort’s homeworld Carry the two…un-carry the two"

And here I thought Archer was great at math? Or maybe it’s just counting bullets.

"ARCHER: Come on Krieger. Sun’s out, gun’s out. KRIEGER: Well technically in space the sun is always ou– ARCHER: Don’t step on my line!!!"

Krieger, as always, taking things literally and squashing a choice line like this one. Still mad we’re not doing “phrasing” though.

"PAM: I’ll have you know I was voted “most ladylike” by my cotillion. MALLORY: Who was your competition? A boulder?"

Honestly, I will never tire of Mallory’s biting wit, nor Pam’s gentle determination to show her up. No matter how unsuccessful her attempts will be.

What did you think of the season premiere of Archer: 1999? Let us know in the comments!

Archer: 1999 airs Wednesdays on FX.