The best WTF moments and quotes from Archer: 1999, Episode 2

Space gladiator fights

The big reveal comes that the gang (without Archer) isn’t being sold into slavery quite yet. Instead, they’re being rented to their old friend Bort to participate in some gladiator fights for his entertainment.

This leads to a pretty funny exchange wherein the gang attempts to set up the fights fairly. With each trying to either get the easiest matchup (the coward Cyril) or use this as an opportunity to air out old issues (Lana and Cheryl). That leaves Pam, who will end up fighting the eventual winner of all these match-ups (but in true Pam fashion, she remarks that they’re all winners to her).

The ending

As the crew sits around silently, Sterling tries to break the ice gently, only for Mallory to reveal that Archer had gotten them all into this mess by stealing something from Barry-6. Scrambling to deflect, Archer reveals that Mallory touched his penis while she was inside Funbeak.

The rest of the group is, naturally, disgusted by picturing this scene. Until something worse disgusts them.

A scent fills all their nostrils, causing them to gag from the smell and implication. Unabashedly, Pam turns to the screen and says “well, that’s our Pam!” with a wink.

Archer, asks what she’s trying to do. Trying not to move her mouth, Pam whispers “freeze frame” in a nod to many classic sitcoms that used that to end episodes. Well, that’s our Pam.

Best quotes

"Barry-6: [while threatening Archer to get the combination to a safe on his ship] So why don’t you tell me the correct combination? Archer: Because then I feel like I’d no longer be negotiating from a position of power? Barry-6: Do you think you’re in a position of power? Archer: [revealed to be strapped to a gurney surrounded by Barry-6’s henchmen] Eh."

Archer, never phased by how bleak the situation is. Though it does always seem to work out for him.

"Barry-6: Well I’m not selling all of you into slavery? Mallory: Come again? Cheryl: [offscreen] Space phrasing!"

Okay, I’m coming around on “space phrasing.”

"[After its revealed that the crew will have to fight each other in a gladiator pit.] Krieger: I can’t fight any of you. According to the first rule of robotics, I’m incapable of harming a human. Cyril: I pick Krieger!"

I want to mock Cyril for being a massive coward in this situation (as per usual), but this is the smart pick.

"Mallory: [hearing Archer’s cries of pain in the distance] That’s Sterling! [To the bartender making her drink] What are you hourly?"

What can I say, Ms. Archer has her priorities.

"Krieger: [after being cut in half by Cyril] More like Isaac As-hole-imov am I right?"

Damn Asimov and his first rule of robotics!

"Pam: I’m not gonna lie, I have my species equivalent of a boner. Cyril & Krieger: Ew. Pam: Relax, you can’t smell it. Cyril: Yes we can!"

I won’t lie, the fact that people can smell when Pam gets sexually aroused may be this show’s greatest new running gag since they introduced Krieger as “Crackers” last season.

"Pam: [Seeing Mallory inside Funbeak for the first time] Why are you a bird? Mallory: Why are you a rock slide with tits? Pam: [starts crying]"

I felt so bad for Pam. After I picked myself up off the floor from my hysterical laughter.

What was your favorite moment from last night’s episode of Archer? Let us know in the comments below!