Superstore express lane: The 5 best jokes in Season 5, Episode 3

SUPERSTORE -- "Forced Hire" Episode 503 -- Pictured: Heidi Gardner as Colleen -- (Photo by: Trae Patton/NBC)
SUPERSTORE -- "Forced Hire" Episode 503 -- Pictured: Heidi Gardner as Colleen -- (Photo by: Trae Patton/NBC) /

Dina’s nemesis joining the store and Jonah campaigning for unionization involves a bag of meth, a gallon of ranch, and one hilarious Superstore.

Every day is a new day for Dina to exercise her thirst for revenge. Superstore welcomes Dina’s sworn enemy Colleen, played by Saturday Night Live’s Heidi Gardner, into the fold for the worst first day on the job ever. From fish feuds and near misses with illicit drugs, Dina tries everything in her power to push Colleen to quit, even blackmailing Garrett to do her dirty work for her.

Meanwhile in the store, Mateo returns to Cloud 9 and feels purposeless without his work. He soon realizes Cheyenne and the others are granting him the opportunity to pick up the slack. But are they? Superstore continues the uphill battle to unionizing as Jonah lobbies the warehouse department to join the fight, making for plenty of funny moments. Here are five of the best jokes from the latest episode of Superstore.

1. “Like if Satan and a turd had a baby.”

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When Dina discovers that her nemesis Colleen has been transferred from the closed Bellridge store, she immediately jumps into defense mode — which is Dina’s natural state. Dina and Colleen play fake nice, and Colleen calls her “Deener.” She plans on forcing Colleen out with hazing tactics, but Amy threatens to write her up. Obviously, that doesn’t scare Dina. Using the dead-bird blackmail against Garrett, she ropes the second of her 37 enemies in on the scheme.

2. “If it’s good enough for the United States Postal System, it’s good enough for me.”

During Jonah’s union meeting in the garden center, he’s informed that the warehouse employees have bowed out of the unionization conversation. It’s a bummer, but Jonah won’t take apathy for an answer. He pegs Marcus as his entry into the warehouse department, leading to an awkward “lunch meeting” in Marcus’ door-less sedan featuring an hour-long FaceTime session with his mother. Jonah doesn’t tread any new ground because Marcus is too excited too play basketball with his new friend.

Superstore Season 5
SUPERSTORE — “Forced Hire” Episode 503 — Pictured: (l-r) Nico Santos as Mateo, Heidi Gardner as Colleen — (Photo by: Trae Patton/NBC) /

3. “We’d do anything for you, Mateo! Anything you think we did.”

Mateo rejoins the Cloud 9 team, but not on a full-time or even part-time basis. He’s simply visiting his friends and catching up. However, when he helps Cheyenne make a display bed and fold a shirt, he believes that everyone around the store is doing their jobs poorly on purpose to give Mateo his own purpose. Before long, Mateo becomes a busybody around the store and accidentally insults Sandra’s mannequin styling skills. Of course, Glenn’s too nice to fess up to the truth.

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4. “Then what would I do in situations like this when I need a bag of meth?”

After Garrett’s first prank of filling Colleen’s locker with fish doesn’t have the desired effect, Dina decides to take things up a notch. Naturally, that means attempting to plant a bag of meth on her enemy, forcing Amy’s hand in firing her. Dina didn’t account for Garrett and Colleen hitting it off. Once they start flirting, Garrett can’t help himself and asks her out. When Dina finds out, he spins it into a ploy to break Colleen’s heart. That’s not the truth at all, but Amy secures Colleen a second transfer.

5. “Is it all guys? We should probably talk about that.”

Jonah grows exhausted of Marcus and his filibustering on the unionization front. Against Marcus’ warnings, he marches into the warehouse to appeal to the employees, who are all male and dissimilar to Jonah. His first attempts flop, but Jonah “slams” a gallon of ranch to prove his camaraderie with the crew. Somehow, the questionable chugging of salad dressing convinces the warehouse employees to sign up to unionize. Whatever it takes, at all costs.

Next. Superstore express lane: The 5 best jokes from the Season 5 premiere. dark

What did you think of the latest episode? Sound off in the comments!

Superstore airs Thursdays at 8/7c on NBC.