Chicago Fire characters are no strangers to death and loss. Many of them have had to say goodbye to loved ones, whether friends or romantic loves. The latest one is Chief Pascal, and we get to see the rawness of that grief.
Caution: This post contains SPOILERS for Chicago Fire season 13, episode 17.
During the previous episode, Pascal took extra risks as he struggled to deal with the loss of his wife, Monica. Then he took Firehouse 51 to the scene of her accident, needing answers to be able to blame someone for the loss. As that couldn’t happen, he realized that he would need to accept the loss and start the grieving process.
However, many thought he went back to work too fast. That was except for Novak, who went to speak to him privately, sharing a reminder of the words he once spoke to her. They made an impression on her, and her remembering them made an impression on Pascal. While he is still grieving, he is starting to focus on work in a slightly healthier way.
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The quiet makes grief harder in Chicago Fire
At the end of the episode, we went to Pascal’s home, where he was gathering up Monica’s old items. It’s easy to see that it’s the silence that hurts the most. He puts her perfumes in a garbage bag and her clothes in boxes. However, he can’t bear to get rid of everything.
In the end, he leaves a bottle of perfume and a dress. He needs these as a reminder that Monica was once part of his life. The quiet at home after such a loss is rarely talked about, and it’s rarely shown on the screen. What’s also rare is seeing how someone deals with that, especially in a healthy way.
Keeping every element of someone after they’ve passed isn’t necessarily healthy. It makes it difficult to move forward, getting to the acceptance stage of grief. However, getting rid of everything also doesn’t work. What about the feeling of regret, or of feeling like you’re just discarding everything that person meant to you?
Chief Pascal is actually doing something healthy. He’s kept two items of Monica’s to remind him of her. These items were clearly his favorite ones, otherwise, why choose those specific items from the mixture of perfumes and clothes available? They clearly hold good memories, and it’s those memories that he wants to keep hold off.
When we lose someone, all we have is our memories and they can fade over time. Seeing items Monica wore and smelling her scent now and then can trigger the good memories, and they’ll give Pascal something to hold onto when the grief gets just a little too much. And the grief is going to get a little too much now and then. As Violet showed with her memories of the smell of lilies at Hawkins’s funeral, the feeling of sadness and pain can come back now and then. Healing isn’t linear.
Chicago Fire airs on Wednesdays at 9/8c on NBC.
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