Firefly’s Top 10 Insults in Mandarin-Chinese
There is no show that has ever had such short run, yet developed so many devoted fans as “Firefly”. “Firefly” fans are rabid. They will even attack each other if there is any discrepancy in interpretation of the source material. Joss Whedon created the perfect universe for uber-fans to live in.
In “Firefly”, Whedon creates an interesting idea. Here is the backstory according to the perfect person to tell you, Malcolm Reynolds, Captain of the Serenity: Here’s how it is:
The Earth got used up, so we moved out and terraformed a whole new galaxy of Earths, some rich and flush with the new technologies, some not so much. The Central Planets, them was formed the Alliance, waged war to bring everyone under their rule; a few idiots tried to fight it, among them myself. I’m Malcolm Reynolds, captain of Serenity. Shes a transport ship, Firefly class. Got a good crew: fighters, pilot, mechanic. We even picked up a preacher for some reason, and a bona fide companion. There’s a doctor too, took his genius sister out of some Alliance camp, so they’re keeping a low profile, you understand. You got a job, we can do it, don’t much care what it is.
In “Firefly” the Alliance was a super-company that formed to rule the new planetary system. In this future, mankind speaks a mesh of English and Mandarin. This was used to showcase that the world is different in this hypothetical future, and it also gave Joss the ability to use profanity that couldn’t be spoken in English due to censorship guideline.
These are 10 of the most precious, outrageous, and absurd “Firefly” lines that were spoken in Mandarin, and you can learn too, with the phoenetic spellings and translations included! I tried to get clips for all, and only found clips for a few, but I put some great video clips for your viewing pleasure regardless. No representatives of Blue Sun were alerted during the creation of this list.
10) A Baboon’s Asshole
狒狒的屁眼 ・ FAY-FAY duh PEE-yen
In the episode “War Stories,” there is a moment when Kaylee is asked what happened during her time with River (it involves River coming out of her stupor and kicking ass). Even after Kaylee fesses up, Jayne does not believe her. He gives her a mouthful in Mandarin: Cow sucking and baboon’s assholes.
9) Stupid Son of a Drooling Whore and a Monkey
流口水的婊子和猴子的笨兒子 ・ Liou coe shway duh biao-tze huh hoe-tze duh ur-tze
River is not going to let Simon take her to the infirmary , given her past experience with medical facilities. We all know River and her tantrums. Well in the midst of it all she spits out this gem of language, directed solely at Mal. How can something so beautiful be so vulgar? Well as Mal puts it, “So, she’s added cussing and hurling-about of things to her repertoire. She really is a prodigy.”
8) Frog-Humping Son of a Bitch
青蛙操的流氓 ・ Ching-wah TSAO duh liou mahng
Oh the frustrations of learning medical terminology. Mal lets this piece fly eloquently in his frustration, when trying to learn medical lingo. This is the type of scene that makes me shiny.
7) Filthy Fornicators of Livestock
喝畜生雜交的髒貨 ・ Huh choo-shung tza-jiao duh tzang-huo
Shepherd Book is rarely the type of character to spit out atrocities, but everyone has their slip-ups. After seeing what Niska has done to Captain Tight Pants, Book lets loose a doozie. Although it would be hilarious to think that Shepherd Book is showing some restraint in this instance, this is the literal translation to the sentence, it doesn’t mean Dirty Cow F#ckers.
6) Dog F#cking
狗操的 ・ Go tsao de
Jayne, Jayne, the man they call Jayne. Jayne is a rough and tough muscle type person. He is the strong arm of the outfit, and he’s not afraid to get his hands dirty. During the episode “Train Job,” Jayne questions that Captain on why they are veering from the plan which will put them in hot water with Niska, by asking why their not on their way to the 狗操的 rendezvous point!
5) Holy Mother of God and All Her Wacky Nephews
我的媽和她的瘋狂的外甥都 ・ Wuh duh ma huh tah duh fong kwong duh wai shung
Look at the 25:44 mark.
This phrase is great. Where do I start. It’s really not even vulgar at all, but could possibly be the best vulgar line that I have ever heard. Zoe should be proud of Wash for showing some fortitude when staring down the gun of a Christina Hendricks seduction line. Poor Wash, But great reaction.
4) Shove All the Planets in the Universe Up my Ass
太空所有的星球塞盡我的屁股 ・ Tai-kong suo-yo duh shing-chiou sai-jin wuh duh pee-goo
Oh, Poor Wash. We welcome Wash back to the countdown. Back to back. Wash gets a bit frustrated, and when you throw a bit of jealousy into he mix, it never ends well. Well Wash, your mouth tends to dig deep graves, so you might as well let loose a few rocks. When will you learn that war creates a bond that goes deeper than love. You thought there was a bit of attraction where there was just camaraderie.
3) Stupid Inbred Stack of Meat
笨天生的一堆肉・ BUN tyen-shung duh ee-DWAY-RO
We meet Saffron again, but this time she gets what is coming to her.The last time we saw Saffron, she was trying to deliver our crew to a team of scrappers. Little did she know that Cpt. Mal would get a second chance at revenge. While running into an old war buddy of Mal’s, we meet Bridget, who is Saffron in disguise. Well, Bridget, when you lie to your new husband, and get thrown out, there is no reason to go and call people names.
2) The Explosive Diarrhea of an Elephant
大象爆炸式的拉肚子 ・ Da-shiang bao-tza shr duh lah doo-tze
The number 9 slot is secured by Mal. This wonderfully spoken phrase is said in reaction to Jayne’s proposal of swapping Mal’s new wife for Vera, Jayne’s prize gun. Vera is a beauty, a Callahan full-bore auto lock rifle with a customized trigger and double cartridge thorough-gage. Jayne sees no fault in the trade, it’s even, isn’t it? knowing Saffron and he ability to betray, I think that Mal would have really won that trade.
1) Holy Testicle Tuesday!
神聖的睾丸 ・ Shun-SHENG duh gao-WAHN
This is my favorite saying out of the entire bunch. It may be the shortest, but it is truly the best. This is Mal’s reaction to a wealthy mans things and it is priceless! There is something to note here about the process that the writers took crafting these phrases. They are originally written into the script in English, and then translated. Can you imagine going to the show’s translator, Jenny Lynn, and asking her how to say, “Holy Testicle Tuesday!” in Mandarin Chinese. Rejoice. Good job Jenny, to which she would reply, “it’s all in a days work.”