‘The Royals’ Season 3, Episode 6 React: How Liam Stole Christmas


When Liam gives the staff the holiday off, ‘The Royals’ throw a Christmas spectacular complete with figgy pudding and family fights.

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On the first day of Christmas, Prince Liam gave his family quite the surprise: A holiday not meticulously planned and organized by their staff. How does The Royals celebrate Christmas with a quintet of silver-spoon monarchs? In Eleanor’s winter wonderland daydream, which, of course, looks nothing like how the Henstridge family actually spends the holiday.

Since it’s the family’s first Christmas without King Simon, Liam honors his father’s tradition of sending home the staff for a more intimate gathering. However, he doesn’t account for the fact that Simon and the staff planned Christmas for months in preparation for the royal day off. Now, The Royals leaves the palace full of privileged princes with no knowledge of creating a tasteful tablescape but plenty of personal problems to go around. From falling figgy puddings to tabloid-induced breakups, here are the four most scandalous moments from the royal festivities.

The Queen suffers a sex injury via figgy pudding.

Imagine awaking on Christmas Eve without your little helpers mousing about and tending to your every need. The horror! Queen Helena opens her own door (ugh, right?) and the silence has her convinced there’s been a zombie apocalypse. Although the immediate shock of having to plan her own holiday (ugh again, right?) bums her out, she comes around to preparing a turkey and figgy pudding when Spencer offers to give her a hand—and yes, that’s a double entendre.

While looking for figgy pudding and feeling punchy from champagne, the Queen bluntly propositions Spencer. She and her Lord Chamberlain with benefits get down and dirty in the kitchen, causing the figgy pudding to come crashing down on the Queen and give her a black eye. Somehow, it’s probably worth it for the Queen, who used to leave the palace on Christmas to go “home,” when she really sneaked out to see Alistair. Could it be that she has found love in her fling with Spencer?

Photo Credit: The Royals/E! Network, Acquired From E! Network PR
Photo Credit: The Royals/E! Network, Acquired From E! Network PR /

Jasper breaks up with Eleanor.

The Royals builds us up only to tear us right back down. We should have known from Len’s letter writing and opening winter wonderland music video dreamscape that impending doom would soon swallow us whole. We also should have known that the minute he and Eleanor started discussing his crumby father that it’d come back to bite us in our Jaspenor-shipping arses.

Sarah-Alice helps Jasper create the perfect gift for Eleanor: A hand-drawn storybook about Frosty the Caterpillar and the Princess, which leads to a pop-up jewelry box containing a necklace. But because of a sneaky journalist, Jasper never gives it to her. As it turns out, Robert isn’t the only one who has found out about Jasper’s past. A tabloid with an anonymous source threatens to go public with Princess Eleanor’s relationship with her American bodyguard who comes from a long line of criminals. Backed into a corner, he breaks up with Len against his will. Fake news. Sad!

Photo Credit: The Royals/E! Network, Acquired From E! Network PR
Photo Credit: The Royals/E! Network, Acquired From E! Network PR /

King Simon got his Christmas shopping done early.

Either Simon was cheap or all the stores were closed when he went on his fatal walks. Sure, following his death, his family appreciates his hand-me-down belongings. But isn’t it kind of morbid that he prepared months in advance to gift his children with his own relics? It’s like he knew he wouldn’t be around to read his family’s letters to Santa.

Although James prepared the family a delicious feast, their individual and collective dramas threaten to implode the peaceful occasion. Wouldn’t you know, the royals are a normal family! Tensions boil over with a tug of war over the royal Christmas address and the mounting brotherly battle. Sarah-Alice, ever the peacemaker, presents a sack of gifts from King Simon.

Simon gave Helena the perfume she gave up because he was allergic; Len his old watch engraved with a note of pride; Cyrus a cane containing a sword; and Liam his old boxing gloves. Oh, don’t worry. Liam will get great use of those boxing gloves.

Photo Credit: The Royals/E! Network, Acquired From E! Network PR
Photo Credit: The Royals/E! Network, Acquired From E! Network PR /

Liam vs. Robert reaches a boiling point.

Don’t call him Sparrow. The gloves are off, and he’s ready to get in the ring to end his feud with Robert once and for all. Liam confides in Len about his complicated feelings about Robert—and Kathryn. He’s still reconciling his joy for Robert being home with his constant resentment for his older brother taking everything from him. While Robert remains one step ahead of Cyrus, he completely underestimates his little brother and the man he’s become in his absence.

Robert, however, does know exactly how he affects Liam when he spitefully calls him “Sparrow,” or maybe he doesn’t. He has never had his worth defined by being runner-up or felt as though he didn’t matter. Robert always mattered. And he’s kind of a d–k about it to boot. For all of Liam’s jealousy, Robert could live to be a little more humble. But Liam visits Kathryn and vows to fight for her. He means this figuratively and literally. Liam gives his father’s boxing gloves to Robert and challenges him to a charity boxing match. Here we go!

Next: 'The Royals' React: Sympathy for the Devil (a.k.a. Cyrus)

Bits & Pieces:

  • Theory! Was Robert the journalist’s source? I know Jasper calls his father assuming it’s him, but can we be sure? I’ve been rather vocal about my distrust in Robert, and he ribbed Jasper rather hard about using the “family gym.” Could he be capable of sinking his sister’s relationship?
  • Related: Everyone looks up at Robert on his pedestal, right where the show places him. Is The Royals building him up to be this god-like prince to hit us with a reveal that he’s not who we think he is?
  • “You finally have something I don’t.” Good grief, Robert.
  • We can all agree that the best part of Jasper’s story this season has been his interactions with Sarah-Alice, right? How could your heart not burst after watching him bawl his eyes out and then receive a comforting hug from a five year old?
  • The Christmas tree falling on Cyrus is the universe using metaphor for comedy. A brilliant touch. I need that gif, stat!
  • Not to create even more divisions in the world, but are you #TeamLiam or #TeamRobert?

The Royals airs Sundays at 10/9c on the E! Network.