‘Ancient Aliens’ – Cloud computing is really the Akashic Record

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Photo Credit: Ancient Aliens/History Channel Image Acquired from A&E Networks Press

Stop me if you’ve heard this one before, but aliens are definitely responsible.  This time on ‘Ancient Aliens’, “cloud computing” was originally created by aliens, and it was called the Akashic Record.

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According to Hindu scriptures such as the Mahabharata, cosmic knowledge was available to an ancient sage named Narada.  To support this theory, Ancient Aliens rolls out a bunch of credentialed people (i.e. Ph.D. types) to make interesting connections, as always.  One such expert goes so far as to say, “[Narada] clearly had access to an essential knowledge that is at the fabric of the divine cosmic order.”  Sounds fancy, right?

And this access, this repository of cosmic information is normally called the Akashic Record.  First proposed in 1883 by Alfred Percy Sinnett in his book Esoteric Buddhism, it explains how people can access all information, all data, without time or space.  Everything is connected.  All inventions, prophets, and great minds of history accessed it.

One expert says he has always called the universe a “wireless network.”   Never mind the fact that the concept of a wireless network didn’t exist just a few decades ago.  As always on Ancient Aliens, Giorgio A. Tsoukalos can be counted on to “turn it up to 11.”  He thinks everyone, even extraterrestrials, have access to this Akashic realm.  Moreover, the narrator gets an assist from Deepak Chopra, who is obviously a big believer, who suggests past prophets linked their brainwaves into higher dimension realities and cosmic consciousness.

The Brain Experiment

Dario Nardi, a neuroscientist in California, proposes to use advanced brain mapping software on Dr. Chopra, who is going to meditate.  Once Dr. Chopra starts meditating, the screen starts blipping, bleeping, and changing colors.  Tsoukalos is 100% on board.  Of course, it’s possible Dr. Chopra may be thinking about running errands, eating delicious naan, or the new season of Game of Thrones, but we’ll just have to take his word for it.

Later, the Akashic Record is linked to quantum waves and zero-point energy via Dr. Ervin Laszlo, Einstein, Akashic Record propagation, quantum waves and the quantum entanglement theory.  It’s truly dizzying.  To fully absorb all the references on Ancient Aliens, one must apparently gain access to the actual Akashic Record.

You’re not in Bulgaria anymore, Toto.

In the 1920s, a little girl named Vangelia gets sucked up into the air by tornadoes.  Not one, multiple.  As a result, she went blind.  In the following decades she made predictions as her pseudonym, Baba Vanga, the Nostradamus of the Balkans.  Experts say when her vision declined, her other senses got better.  Like Daredevil.  Naturally, she’s linked to the Akashic Record.

Here are a few of her prophecies from 1989 :

  • American brethren will fall after being attacked by the steel birds.”  This is supposed to be about the Twin Tower terrorist attacks of 2001.  The question is, however, if she made this prediction in 1989, why not just say airplanes?  Too vague.
  • “A huge wave will cover a big coast covered with people and towns, and everything will disappear beneath the water.”  That’s just playing the odds.  In fact, a natural disaster is almost guaranteed in 15 years.  Linking it to the 2004 Indonesian catastrophe is just lazy.
  • “The 44th President of the United States will be an African-American man.  Everyone will put their hopes in him.”  Now THIS one is interesting.

To summarize, Baba Vanga is linked to Nostradamus, both are tied to cross-continent, simultaneous inventions throughout history that prove Nikola Tesla and other inventors follow a time-window of civilization advancement provided by aliens who want us to colonize Mars.  Got all that?

Next: In a different reality

Final tally of the following phrases:

  • According to historians/theoretical physicists/astronaut theorists: 4
  • Ancient astronaut theorists/theoretical scientists suggest/propose: 4

Ancient Aliens airs Friday nights on the History channel.