My 600-lb Life Season 7, Episode 11 recap: Jeanne’s story is a gamut of emotions

Jeanne is the denying, blaming, unhygienic train-wreck we’ve all been waiting for on My 600-lb Life. Her story, however, sadly runs the gamut of emotions.

If you thought things couldn’t get worse than Destinee on My 600-lb Life, you might be wrong. And by “might be wrong,” I mean “as wrong as flat-Earthers.” This is much, much worse.

It’s time to welcome Jeanne, the only person who has attempted to merge My 600-lb Life with Hoarders and It Takes a Thief. Of course, Brienne has a slew of reasons why she started eating six meals a day, but she doesn’t think any of it is her fault. She refuses to say the word fat, instead substituting words like bigger and larger and disability. Blame goes to everyone else, despite the fact she’s done nothing to cease looking like the Kool-Aid Man.

Home Life

Staring at the popcorn ceiling. Thinking about popcorn. Considering whether the popcorn on the ceiling is edible. Besides that, it’s just Brienne’s mother acting as a home healthcare servant, wiping between Brienne’s 150-lb butt cheeks and giving her a “bath” with a soapy rag every day. It’s all about Jeanne, however, because she gets worn out from all that effort her Mother gives.

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Her mother looks extremely resentful, yet continues to feed Brienne. Between cleaning and feeding Brienne, there obviously isn’t time to clean the house. The walls have 3-ft spider webs, and massive yellow smears, which one would think are dirt, but I’m betting is a combination of stains from Jeanne’s smoking and a little backup butter. They live in complete filth.

The Average Meal

THIS IS ALL IN ONE DAY. Breakfast is about 10 sausage links, a bag of home fries, and roughly 8 scrambled eggs. Everything is smothered in salt and ketchup. Shortly thereafter, Jeanne inhales two double cheeseburgers, fries, and a massive soda. Or pop if you prefer. Or soda and pop like Jeanne prefers.

Thankfully, her father brings her a tray of 12 cupcakes with loads of frosting. Brienne devours 7 of those bad boys, a single bite each, and is orgasmic about it. Her mother can’t hide the RBF, as she stares down Jeanne spitefully. Her enabler father brings meat lover pizzas for dinner, and Jeanne gets her own. Chicken wings too.

Getting to Dr. Now

It’s a chore to get to Dr. Now because Jeanne is one of the laziest people ever to appear on My 600-lb Life. Between the smoking, constant stops for 64-oz sodas, and the fact her mother is in her sixties and driving incredibly slowly – likely in the left lane with a perpetual turn signal – the trip takes way longer than it should.

Dr. Now’s Initial Evaluation

Month 1: Initial weigh in is 702.4. Yikes. She thinks the weight loss surgery is the magic solution, not her eating disorder. Because she’s too “heavy.” In approximately five minutes she’s defensive. Arms crossed.

She completely lies about what she eats. Eggs, cheese, and toast for lunch. Lunch is skipped. Like Dr. Now, or anyone else who isn’t completely blind, thinks Jeanne skips lunch. Fidgeting and breathing hard, Jeanne draws Dr. Now’s attention. She bends over and drops her pants to display what looks like a 60-lb testicle on the inside of her right leg.

Dr. Now admits her into the hospital immediately, demands smoking cessation, and proves to her a restrictive diet leads to massive weight loss. In three days she drops 17-lbs, down to 685-lbs. By the time she left she was down to 649-lbs!

The follow-up appointments and therapy

Month 2: She’s not exercising like Dr. Now said. She’s just overfeeding the NINE dogs they have. Completely unaware of her meals, she thinks removing tortilla chips from counteract the 3 cups of taco meat, pile of shredded cheese, and massive dollop of sour cream.

Month 3: Back up to 678.2!! She gained almost 30-lbs. She tells Dr. Now it was from a single cheat day. He quickly calls BS, pointing to the fact that he’s DR. FREAKING NOW, and has seen 9000 morbidly obese patients like her. Instead of listening to the expert, she continues to be defensive and wants to shove her progress in his face.

Month 4: Jeanne appears to be eating better and exercising. Don’t believe it. She focuses all energy on hating Dr. Now, and not on the danger the dog lying on her bed is in.

Month 5: 670-lbs. She’s not shoving anything in Dr. Now’s face unless she’s sharing cake. Her mother shows an atrocious wound that looks like a pink, infected, fleshy Iron Man chest piece.

It stems from a perforated colon surgery, and looks bad. Dr. Now performs a complicated, dangerous surgery involving a three-foot hernia sac, extra skin, and tons of scar tissue intertwined with intestines.

Sadly, Jeanne’s father Larry passed away while she and her mother have been in the hospital. After his passing the dogs wrecked the house. When Jeanne and her mother return, they’re heartbroken.

Month 6: Jeanne talks Dr. Lola. Words of reassurance are helpful, but only so much. Jeanne would rather lay prostrate and swipe her phone than actually help herself. The episode ends as she walks over the trash she hasn’t picked up, through the hallway that should be condemned, over the floor that almost certainly has water damage, dodging dogs the entire way to her mother’s bedroom. Thankfully, her mother appears to be healing well, even if Jeanne isn’t.

My 600-lb Life airs Wednesdays on TLC.