sMothered Season 2, Episode 1: Top Five Moments

sMothered. Image Courtesy TLC
sMothered. Image Courtesy TLC /

Here are the best five moments from sMothered Season 2, Episode 1

You think you know everything about sMothered from the previews. Well, it gets much, much worse. It’s equal parts Kardashian, the word moist, incest, drama similar to 90 Day Fiance, the worst parts of all reality television, and undiagnosed mental disorder. In other words, dumpster fire on a train wreck.

And the crazy part is, the first episode didn’t even include a few of the mother/daughter combos. When everyone gets involved, it’s going to be complete madness.

Let’s get to the top five moments of this hot, sMothered mess.

Two minutes into the episode Mary and Brittani are taking a shower. The contrast couldn’t be more stark. Mary is tanned, extremely high maintenance, and very superficial (read: plastic surgeries). Conversely, Brittani has a “just popped a Xanax”-tone to her voice that immediately pulls fingernails down the chalkboard, and leads to much less empathy during her congenital adrenal hyperplasia (CAH) revelation.

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A second key moment from this group comes when we discover Frank, Mary’s pseudo-husband, went to a strip club during his bachelor party, the day before his marriage to Mary, and received a lap dance. Later at home he knocked one out. To Mary, that’s biblical infidelity, and the reason she never finalized their marriage paperwork. “He cheated on me,” she says, as everyone watching rolls their eyes.

Up next is Angelica and her mother Sunghee. There’s a blip about them sharing bathwater, but at least it’s not simultaneous. Sure, I threw up in my mouth a bit, but it’s not as bad as the shower. Their key moment is when Sunghee stalks her daughter and boyfriend Jason to a nail salon. Sunghee invites herself on the date, gets a pedicure, orders a mimosa, and ruins the big reveal about Jason getting his divorce paperwork prepared for signature.

Up next are Marcia and Alena, who lick and kiss each other. Excuse me, “kith” each other. Alena has a condition called MPS6 which causes a litany of conditions like an enlarged tongue and skeletal abnormalities. Unfortunately, the combination of her speech, her limited stature, and chasing her mother around the living room evokes images of B horror movies.

Looking far too much like Gene Simmons than I care to watch, Kathy is an Italian mother who has raccoon-like eye makeup and sounds like she invented the Chi-cah-go accent. If not for her matching accent, one might think Kathy’s daughter Kristina was a cast member on Jersey Shore. Their top moment is not the plan for both families to live under one roof itself, but when they ambush Kristina’s husband Carlo at the gym with the plan. He’s obviously adamantly opposed.

Next. TLC's other train wreck is 90 Day Fiance: Before the 90 Days. dark

sMothered airs Sundays at 10PM ET/PT on TLC.