Gossip Girl is revived by an unlikely bunch in the reboot’s premiere

HBO Max took us back to the Upper East Side in their Gossip Girl reboot where the rich and powerful run the game and bend the rules to their favor.

Our new class of insecure, privileged, ne’er-do-wells are used to keeping the students and teachers of Constance St. Jude’s under their thumb. But, as the premiere of episode 1 “Just Another Girl on the MTA” showed, that’s about to get difficult with the return of Gossip Girl.

The syrupy, gossipmonger who ruined lives and relationships when Serena, Dan, Blair, Chuck, and Nate were center stage is a relic of the past until someone decides to use her schtick to get these impudent kids together.

Who’s filled the former Queen of Mean’s shoes? Well, it’s a better reveal than Lonely Boy’s extracurricular activities, that’s for sure.

Spoilers for Gossip Girl episode 1 ahead

Who is Gossip Girl in the reboot?

Buckle up, fans! The social media life ruiner has got multiple degrees, a low-paying job, and a hankering for some R-E-S-P-E-C-T. These students have run her ragged, and she’s tired.

She can’t fail them without getting fired. If they’re not the ones bullying her into giving them a higher grade then it’s the office phone ringing off the hook and their parents tapping in to throw their weight around. It’s hard out here for a teacher with students who think they’re above it all because their families have money.

But, getting them in line isn’t a one woman job. It can’t be. That’s why Gossip Girl this time around is multiple people. She’s the disgruntled teachers in the lounge. The ones who see and hear everything around them and are treated like gum on the bottom of their students’ shoes.

Led by Kate Keller (Tavi Gevinson), who is the wordsmith of the operation, these teachers play with the lives of Julien, Zoya, and Obie to create quite the stir in episode 1.

Perhaps if the student body of Constance St. Jude’s knew what it felt like to be on constant blast with no reprieve, they’d learn to humble themselves and treat people better. At least that’s the impetus behind the teachers’ agenda.

Though something tells us things are about to get out of hand with a quickness. Absolute power, after all, corrupts absolutely and the psychological warfare these adults are waging on the teens in their charge is a minefield of messiness that is sure to blow up in their faces.