Review: The ‘Transformers: The Last Knight’ movie trailers are a lie

‘Transformers: The Last Knight’ is not what the clips and trailers make it out to be, but that’s not the only thing that’s disappointing.

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What did we do to deserve two and a half hours of this mess? And to make things worse, it’s an entirely different mess than the one the trailers promise. That’s right, the Transformers: The Last Knight trailers are a lie.

The film opens with King Arthur waiting for the help of Merlin in order to win a losing battle. As it turns out, according to Transformers, Merlin wasn’t using magic, he was just getting help from Autobots. Mindblown. After the not-so-quick opening that introduces the plot (Merlin was given a “magical” staff which will be needed to stop Megatron and the Decepticons) we’re taken to present day with more questionable scenes before we catch up with Cade Yeager (Mark Wahlberg) and what he has been up to since the events of Transformers 4.

Courtesy Paramount Pictures/Transformers!

The answer is, not much. Cade has been living in a junk yard with Bumblebee and other Autobots. Including baby dinosaur transformers, if that matter at all to you.

Eh, still with us? We don’t blame you if you’re not! In fact, we’ll save you time and sum up the movie:

Explosions! Close shots of pouty lips! Transformers transforming! CGI overkill! MORE explosions! Transformers beating up Nazis! Wait. What? Yeah. That happens. 

Okay. But at least you’ll get an epic battle with Optimus Prime vs Bumblebee, right? Wrong. Want to see the two iconic Autobots fight? You already have! Guys, what you see in the trailers is pretty much what you get. Prime and Bumblebee don’t fight longer than a minute or so, and it’s not until almost two hours in. The trailers lie. Transformers is many things, but a big showdown between Prime and Bumblebee is not it.

Photo Courtesy Paramount Pictures/Transformers

There is one fun moment in Transformers 5, and that’s when they poke fun at its old star Shia Labeouf. This happens as Sir Edmund Burton (Anthony Hopkins) explains to Vivian (Laura Haddock) and Cade that the secret of the staff (which only Vivian, as Merlin’s only living relative can control) has been known for years by a secret society. A blink-and-miss-it shot of a crazy looking Shia Labeouf (crazy hair and all) is shown in a picture frame at Burton’s library.

Will Vivian and Cade get to the staff in time? Will the world be saved? Again? You already know all the answers.

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The lowest rated movie is 18% Rotten (Transformers: Age of Extinction) and the highest rated movie is at 57% rotten (Transformers). But despite the negative reviews, Transformers will keep going thanks to its fan base, who are these guys? Who knows. But they are making the franchise millions, especially overseas.

Transformers 5 is already estimated to collect over $70 million! As awful as Transformers: The Last Knight is, the movies will continue being made. Spoiler alert: the closing scene hints at yet another sequel.

Transformers: The Last Knight is in theaters tonight.