Riverdale season 2, episode 12 recap: It’s a bittersweet symphony, Archie’s life

Photo Credit: Riverdale/The CW, Katie Yu Image Acquired from CWTVPR
Photo Credit: Riverdale/The CW, Katie Yu Image Acquired from CWTVPR /

Cruel intentions abound in Riverdale as Archie aligns himself closer to Hiram and the Serpents make necessary cuts. But wait, is that another dead body?

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When it comes to Riverdale, we shouldn’t take pride in being right about our morbid theories. But what else can you do but scream “I told you so!” into the void as Archie does exactly what you warned him against last week? Our beautiful dummy continues his unholy internship in the house of Hiram, blurring his judgment so much that he’s no longer sure which team he’s playing for. Hey, Archiekins? Here’s a hint: Not the mobsters!

Nevertheless, matters of the heart (see: Veronica, Fred) interfere with Archie’s undercover mission for the FBI, and he’s suddenly making decisions he wouldn’t had he been standing on the outside as a third party. While Archie works a mob-only poker game at Pop’s, Betty assists Jughead in getting to the bottom of the beheaded Pickens statue mystery. Unfortunately, uncovering the truth doesn’t mean smooth sailing for the Serpents, who are on the brink of implosion. But what’s that? Another dead body? Let’s dig into the five most shocking developments from the latest jaw-dropping episode of Riverdale(Warning: It’s about to get real spoilery in here.)

1. Veronica renounces Satan. (LOL.)

Isn’t ironic when you’re being confirmed in the Catholic faith and renouncing Satan when your father is literally the devil incarnate in Riverdale? And I’m not calling him that. Veronica called him the devil incarnate in the pilot episode! But, yeah, Hiram’s a total monster. Still, that doesn’t ruin Ronnie’s big day strutting in a white dress and singing “Bittersweet Symphony” in a very intimidating church. Veronica’s struggling with Archie seeing behind the curtain of the Lodge operations, but is it too late to turn back?

2. Meanwhile, Archie needs an exorcism.

To answer my previous question, yes, it sure is too late to turn back. You know Archie, always sticking his nose where it doesn’t belong to prove himself or something similarly macho (i.e. the Red Circle… #tbt). Even though Archie getting closer to Hiram began as an informant gig for the FBI, he’s playing both sides in order to protect Veronica and his father. And it seems as though he enjoys earning Hiram’s validation? I don’t know, it’s weird. I didn’t know Archie to have daddy issues, but here we are watching Archie bend over backwards for a criminal.

Photo Credit: Riverdale/The CW, Katie Yu Image Acquired from CWTVPR
Photo Credit: Riverdale/The CW, Katie Yu Image Acquired from CWTVPR /

3. Agent Adams can’t read Archie’s pa-pa-pa-poker face.

To make matters worse, Archie lies to Agent Adams about his knowledge of Papa Poutine’s death. Okay, wait. Let me explain Papa Poutine. It’s Paul something-or-other’s mob name, and he attended Hiram’s poker night. Hiram and Papa Poutine butt heads, prompting the proud Canadian to later threaten to “remove” Hiram. Of course, Archie overhears and warns Hiram during the confirmation party, and he makes a convenient phone call. Archie knows all of this, but he plays dumb with Agent Adams. Bad idea, party of one!

4. Guess who’s back? Bughead’s back!

Tell a friend! But before Bughead rekindles their complicated little flame with a sleepover, they team up for some mystery solving like the old days. (Old days = like five episodes ago.) The growing tensions between the North and South Sides are super convoluted and hyper political, but it all boils down to Hiram having Mayor McCoy in his back pocket, and Jughead figuring it out.

He needs to find the head of the statue to clear the Serpents’ name as well as his. That takedown article is one hell of a motive. After feeling the wrath of Penny Peabody and nearly being ousted from the Serpents, Betty and Jughead find the statue head at the dump, and all fingers point to Tall Boy as the culprit. The Serpent mutiny has been foiled, but their troubles are far from over.

Photo Credit: Riverdale/The CW, Daniel Power Image Acquired from CWTVPR
Photo Credit: Riverdale/The CW, Daniel Power Image Acquired from CWTVPR /

5. Another one in the casket…

What should Betty walk into at home, following her evening with Jughead, other than her mother cleaning up a puddle of blood. Earlier that evening, Alice and Chic sat down to dinner when the doorbell rang. A bleached blonde man asks for Chic, and the events between him standing in the doorway and lying lifeless on the Coopers’ floor are a question mark. Did Chic kill this man? Did Alice? Better yet, did the real Black Hood take out this mystery man?

Next: Riverdale season 2, episode 11 recap: Do Betty and Chic share a dark side?

Odds & Ends:

  • “Do you know ‘Bittersweet Symphony’ from the Cruel Intentions soundtrack?” Oh, these kids. And here I was hoping this episode would end up an homage to the classic movie.
  • What’s up with Hal always being rude and unwelcoming to Chic? It’s becoming a “thing,” no? Conspiracy theory time: Is Chic not his biological child?
  • Not enough Cheryl this week. Can we see Miss Blossom take on the mob?
  • Since I’m convinced we’re still in for a major Black Hood reveal, I’m keeping track of how many times he’s mentioned each episode from here on out. Black Hood name-drop count: 1.

What did you think of the latest episode? Sound off in the comments!

Riverdale airs Wednesdays at 8/7c on The CW.