The Bachelorette: The Men Tell All recap: Becca’s guys gab about Season 14

On The Bachelorette: The Men Tell All, the men pile on Jordan. Wills, Jason and Colton relive their heartbreak. Becca faces the men she eliminated.

Once again, it’s time for the annual smackdown on The Bachelorette known as The Men Tell All. This gives Becca’s guys the chance to air out their grievances — like Festivus. Most of these men have proven to be pretty forgettable. The two men we really want to hear from are Lincoln, who is conspicuously absent from the event and from all clips, and, Garrett, who is still in the running to win Becca’s heart. They are, by far, the most controversial suitors of the season.

I won’t rehash every confrontation, so we’ll stick to the highlights.

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Host Chris Harrison calls out Jean Blanc for his behavior in Utah when he told Becca he was in love with her and then took it back. Before Jean Blanc can answer, Colton accuses him of playing all of the guys and of lying to Becca.

Jean Blanc responds that Colton is acting like a p***y in spite of never seeing one (it seemed like he might have called Colton a b***h, even though he’d never been f***ed, but it’s difficult to tell because of the bleeps).

Jean Blanc backpedals again, claiming he was falling in love with Becca. Jason intervenes, stating that love is a very powerful emotion, and he has no respect for anyone who abuses that emotion when they’re in need, and he thinks Jean Blanc was in need. By in need, I assume it was Jean Blanc’s last-ditch effort to stay on the show. Jason believes Jean Blanc owes all the guys present an apology as well as Becca.

Next up on the chopping block is Jordan, who Leo refers to as a “modern-day narcissist.” When Harrison questions the guys about why Jordan was able to get under their skin, both David and Colton state they don’t believe Jordan took the process seriously.

This is the perfect segue into David and Jordan’s two on one with Becca when David told Becca Jordan claimed dating Becca was “settling.” Jordan still maintains this conversation never took place, and those words never left his mouth.

David’s obsession with Jordan is undeniable, and even the other men feel David’s focus was on his adversary instead of Becca. Who do you really love, David?

Jason actually comes to Jordan’s defense. He felt like Jordan never attacked David, but David behaved like a bully, preying on an easy target. David admits he took things too far.

Jordan left enough of a lasting impression to earn a spot in the hot seat. Jordan is like Teflon — all the insults kind of roll off. He makes it clear he’s a confident guy who likes to have fun. The other guys can call him a clown, but Jordan had a good time, and he showed Becca a good time as well (this includes parading around in gold underpants). Jordan still has those infamous man panties, and he unbuttons his pants to prove it.

Never before has a contestant been sent home on night one on The Bachelorette and caused such an upheaval amongst Bachelor Nation. That’s right, “Grocery Store Joe” might have failed to woo Becca, but he’s become a huge sex symbol. I have to say, he is smokin’ hot.

Joe wasn’t expecting all this attention, but he’s enjoying it. Is Joe still single? He won’t say. Fans will have to tune in to Bachelor in Paradise to find out.

Trendsetter Wills is still emotional over his breakup with Becca. Chris Harrison comments that Wills and Becca appeared to connect on a level that everyone else didn’t — their shared love of everything nerdy. The host questions when Wills knew he was really falling for Becca. Wills reveals they shared a moment in Vegas when he discovered they both had memories of hearing the same nursery rhyme as children.

Wills has no hard feelings toward Becca. He respects her decision to “live her truth.”

Colton admits he was genuinely caught off guard when Becca sent him home. He maintains that he was truly in love with Becca and had moved on from Tia. To clarify, Colton spent time with Tia before Arie’s season of The Bachelor even aired. Tia knew Colton was a finalist to be on The Bachelorette and encouraged him to pursue the opportunity. He had no clue Tia had lingering feelings or that she would come back.

As if The Bachelorette hasn’t exhausted the top of Colton’s virginity enough, we get to hear about it some more. Becca caught some heat for getting up from the table after his confession, but Colton knows Becca just needed the time to gather her thoughts, so she could articulate something back to him just as meaningful.

Colton breaks down crying at the thought that people view him as less of a man because he’s a virgin. He’s sad it’s viewed as baggage or a red flag.

The parade of broken hearts continues with Jason. He reveals there will always be a special place in his heart for Becca. He’s convinced Becca will find her happiness, and he’s going to find his. And while it’s difficult to have a friendship with an ex, he hopes they can get to that point.

Becca joins the party, and she admits to Chris Harrison that she’s nervous. She did develop genuine feelings for these guys, but in the end, this is The Bachelorette and she could only choose one.

Jason basically asks Becca what he can do to make himself a more desirable partner, and she encourages him not to change a thing. Everything he gave her was everything she could want, but it came down to matters of the heart.

Jason expresses his hope that they can stay friends, and Becca wants the same. The two share a hug, and you really couldn’t ask for a more cordial breakup.

Colton comments how happy Becca looks and says that’s all he wants for her.

Becca addresses the “Tia situation.” Becca and Tia are still friends, and Becca wants Tia to find love and happiness. Tia’s gotten a lot of backlash for their last conversation, and Becca doesn’t want that. What Tia said didn’t change what was in Becca’s heart going into that rose ceremony.

Jean Blanc swears he never intended to hurt Becca, and he apologizes for his confusing and unpleasant exit. He “over thought” the moment. He gives her a bottle of perfume as a parting gift.

Jordan may have his fair share of haters, but Becca isn’t one of them. She praises him for his uniqueness, and she finds the fact that he owns it endearing. Jordan does regret not opening up a bit sooner.

Chris gets the final word. He apologizes for a litany of offenses: being a jerk, feeling entitled, losing control and letting his insecurities take over. Becca didn’t deserve it, the other guys didn’t deserve it.

Chris brings back out members of a gospel choir (just like on the premiere) who sing an original number about Chris being a jerk, and how much he want to say “sorry.” Go big or go home, Chris. Apology accepted.

Who are you most excited to see on Bachelor in Paradise? Do any of Becca’s guys have what it takes to be the next Bachelor? Let us know what you think in the comments section below.

The Bachelorette Season 13 finale airs Monday, August 16, at 8/7c on ABC. Tune in to see who Becca chooses.