It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia recap: The Gang Gets New Wheels

Always Sunny in Philadelphia goes back to basics as Dennis gets his groove back.

It took five episodes for Always Sunny to address the elephant in the room. After his reemergence in the premiere episode of Season 13, we had almost forgotten that Dennis had ever been away, His (brief) absence lasted approximately one episode in Sunny time, and obviously the gang was never going to admit that they cared that Dennis was gone.

So when Dennis opens the floor for questions, the rest of the group brushes off his explanations. Things didn’t work out with his kid? Of course they didn’t. Dennis tries to make up some sort of excuse about “parenting from afar” which belies a glimmer of possible emotional progress, but then he jumps right into what he really wants to ask: Where is the Range Rover?

Well, fans will recall that in the Season 12 closer, the gang used Dennis’ prized RPG to decimate his beloved vehicle. And the charred metal husk is still sitting there on the curb across from Paddy’s Pub. Honestly, even if the gang hadn’t torched it, vandals probably would have picked it apart, so this is really on Dennis and his poor planning skills. He’s bummed, but then he decides to go purchase a new car.

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The entire gang goes heads the Range Rover dealership. Dennis is upset that they don’t have any 1993 models, but quickly gets over it and orders that the salesman ring him up for the floor model. He assumes that Frank is just going to pony up and buy him a brand new car, but he’s sorely mistaken. As Frank waddles in, he forks over $473, which is what he claims to be Kelley Blue Book value for the ruined Range Rover. There’s no way that heap of twisted metal is worth even $473, so I’m giving Frank credit for even trying to help Dennis out. Instead, Frank wants to buy one of the Range Rovers for himself. But his license has been expired since 1984, so he’s denied.

Dennis tries to shift gears by purchasing a Prius – a more economical and practical choice. He rolls up to a random posh location, presumably to prey on some ladies, and Dee pulls in right behind him in his dream vehicle. Turns out Frank bought it for himself, but Dee is allowed to drive while Frank goes to Driver’s Ed. Dee quickly makes friends with two rich women named Karen (Gillian Vigman) and Brenda (Kaitlin Olson’s longtime friend Tricia O’Kelly). And then she proceeds to mess the whole thing up.

Brenda and Karen are jiving with Dee at the spa when Brenda makes an innocent comment about Dee being single. It wasn’t meant to be a slight, but Dee is on such high alert for insults that she’s constantly a whiff away from rage mode. She literally sees red as she seethes her way through a massage, promising to make Brenda pay. Her fury is palpable.

While Dee is plotting revenge on her new frenemies, Dennis meets a random guy named John (Jim Cashman) who kindly invites him over for fantasy football. He hangs out without incident for awhile – and he doesn’t even seem to be plotting anything sinister! – until Frank gets there with his new derelict buddy Aidan (Logan Miller) from Driver’s Ed. Frank has promised Aidan real life porn, and he thinks Dennis is just the man to help him deliver on that promise.

But Dennis, Range Rover-less, has lost his mojo. In an attempt to get things going, Frank eggs Dennis on to go flirt with the one woman at the party, and he bombs spectacularly. It’s curious because it’s the first time we’ve seen Dennis try to mack on a lady since he’s returned from North Dakota. Has fatherhood changed him? Discuss.

Eventually Dennis finds that Jim’s gas guzzling vehicle is his exact Range Rover, down to the very same forest green color. Dennis offers to buy the car at double the KBB value, and then roundly dismisses his new friend with Dee’s patented phrase, “soy boy beta cuck.” Perhaps Dennis hasn’t learned anything after all.

Meanwhile, Charlie and Mac go relive their childhood by purchasing matching Mongoose bikes and tootling around town on them. Charlie Day has got some impressive tricks up his sleeve, even jumping up on the seat of his moving bike at one point with ease. Alas, they encounter the son of their old nemesis Shawn Dumont, and one of their bikes gets stolen. In retaliation, the two guys go and pummel the punk kids into a pulp… possibly killing one. Meh. Those terrible tweens deserved it, right? Also, maybe this was why Mac tacked all that mass on?

Ultimately, Frank and Dee end up on a crash course together when Dee bones Aidan thinking that he’s Brenda’s husband. Nope. It’s her son. If Dee’s sexuality is her weapon of choice, that girl needs a safety mechanism. She’s always screwing the wrong dude. Once Brenda finds out, Frank and Dee flee from the house, with Frank driving.

As Dennis happily drives down the street in his rightful Range Rover, he sings along to Rick Astley’s “Never Gonna Give You Up”. He happens upon Mac and Charlie in their kiddie brawl aftermath, and then swings by the accident caused by Frank and Dee. All of the gang is in the car together, bopping their heads to Rick Astley, and for a moment all is right in the Sunny world.

Random Thoughts Before I Go:

• Both Dee and Dennis think that people in the service industry don’t speak English. Checks out.
• There’s a brief mention of Fight Milk in a conversation between Charlie and Mac. While Mac has been using it to cultivate his mass, Charlie seems to have abandoned it because, “it makes me so sick!”
• Words of Wisdom this week: “Moms are so not lit!” – Frank

‘It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia’ airs Wednesdays at 10/9c on FXX.