Riverdale Season 3, Episode 14 recap: Farmies, fights, and unfriendly fire

In a fittingly somber Riverdale, Archie finds himself the target of a runaway kid while Betty attempts to save Kevin from The Farm. Does either game end?

There’s no way to watch an episode of Riverdale after Luke Perry’s death without that loss weighing heavily on the experience. Although Perry didn’t appear in much of the episode, it was hard not to think of him and feel that grief throughout the episode, which took on an aptly solemn tone whether by design or coincidence.

In the episode, Archie discovers a runaway child at his gym and takes him in, as is the Andrews way. However, Archie soon painfully realizes his good deed comes at the cost of the kid’s dark secret. Meanwhile, Veronica finds a way to command respect from Hiram and Gladys, Jughead loses control of the Serpents, and Betty gets fired up over The Farm. Is Dark Betty back?

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Let’s dig into the five most shocking moments from the latest jaw-dropping episode of Riverdale. (Warning: It’s about to get real spoilery in here.)

1. Kevin fire walks with the Farmies.

Kevin, Kevin, Kevin… It’s usually Archie that gets the triple name drag, but this time, Kevin’s rapid decent into The Farm requires a full serving of “WTF!” In the blink of an eye, Evelyn Evernever takes advantage of Kevin’s vulnerability and recruits him into The Farm. He’s already glaring at Betty and preaching their teachings.

Luckily, Betty goes snooping and finds the cult holding their hands over an open flame and walking over hot coals in the woods. She plans to publish a scathing exposé on The Farm, but remember when Alice spilled all of their sordid secrets? Yeah, Kevin and Evelyn fire back with a threat to reveal her cover-up of the Shady Man’s murder. Checkmate.

2. Veronica fights poison with Pretty Poisons.

What did Veronica expect when she stacked up a hefty debt with not one but two gangsters? Hiram and Gladys strut around La Bonne Nuit like they own the joint, comping free drinks for themselves and taking advantage of Veronica’s debt. Of course, Ronnie tries to strike deals with them to shave off 5% if she bends to their desires, but that backfires. She ultimately pays Toni and the Pretty Poisons to stand guard and toss out the (figurative) trash.

3. Jughead’s in over his head with the Serpents.

File this one under “shocker.” Jughead keeping the Serpents under control would be like Veronica not making an obscure pop culture reference. It’s just not going to happen in this lifetime. Try as he might, Jughead can’t handle the unpredictable Gargoyles his mother forced him to adopt. They steal equipment from the chemistry lab, defy orders, and drop Fangs from the top of a stairwell. Who else comes up with a solution but Sheriff Jones? FP deputizes the Serpents, offering them money and school credit to help keep the streets safe. It’s a win-win since Kurtz, the lone squeaky wheel, makes a beeline for the door.

4. A child nearly takes out the Red Paladin, er, Archie.

When will Archie learn to mind his business? Unfortunately, our sweet prince has too big a heart for his own good and opens his home to a homeless runaway child hiding out in the boxing gym. Archie later learns Ricky was branded with the “sacrifice” symbol in a group home that Archie was branded with at juvie. However, Ricky happens to be Joaquin’s younger brother and a G&G player hoping to win it all. He branded himself and pursued Archie to kill him. Never a dull moment for Archie.

5. Dark Betty, is that you?

Still on her selling-the-house kick, Alice shows the house to potential buyers, but like Michelle in that one episode of Full House, Betty tells the buyers tales of the former serial killer tenant. Despite Betty’s efforts, an anonymous buyer (Edgar Evernever?) buys the Cooper home, and Alice wastes no time to start packing up. Combined with Kevin’s recent commitment to The Farm, Betty’s about had it. She lights a candle and holds her palm over it, but she instead walks downstairs with the candle. When Alice returns, Betty is gone and their house is burning.

Odds & Ends:

• Last week, I mentioned that the show has been heavy on the casual gang activity lately. As if the writers heard my cry, Principal Weatherbee reprimands Jughead and Toni for their gang tension on campus. But it’s a minor slap on the wrist and was used as a set up to drop the chemistry lab robbery. Still! Any instance of self-awareness is a win.
• Are Cheryl and Toni headed for a breakup? It’s a lot of pressure to live together, go to school together, and run a gang together. Someone needs to be the cooler head here.
• There’s a fan theory that Kurtz could be the real Charles Smith, FP and Alice’s son. Truthfully, that doesn’t make much sense because it serves no purpose in this story. If anything, bring Chic back. He was more fun than Kurtz.
• Riverdale honored Luke Perry with an in memoriam title card at the end of the episode. Perry’s death made the episode, and his one scene, tough to watch. To say he will be missed is an understatement.

What did you think of the latest episode? Sound off in the comments!

Riverdale airs Wednesdays at 8/7c on The CW.