A dude’s power ranking of Vanderpump Rules Season 7, Episode 13

On last night’s episode of Vanderpump Rules, the Toms plan a final trip for the gang before the new bar opens, but division starts when one unwanted guest is invited.

Previously, on Vanderpump Rules TomToms had its soft opening to great success, and Lisa tells the two Toms to get ready for the hard work to start. Meanwhile, Kristen and Carter’s relationship remains on shaky ground now that Stassi and the other girls have gotten into the mix. Who will rise and fall in our power rankings this week on Vanderpump Rules?

12. Kristen (last week’s rank: 11)

Oh boy, Kristen’s in this huh? Let’s get it over with.

Through expositional dialogue, we learn that Kristen has been posting a ton on social media about how in love she and Carter are. Stassi relays that this same pattern happened at the end of her and Tom Sandoval’s relationship way back in Season 2 of Vanderpump Rules.

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Later, she and Carter are out having an anniversary dinner at a very nice restaurant whose meals I have no idea how they can afford (but then that’s about the same for every nice thing they have on the show). Carter recounts that on the first date he lied to get her into his apartment, inviting her to stay in his bed but saying he had a couch he could sleep on. Spoiler: he didn’t.

Kristen initially seems to show some remaining bitterness (shocker) that their relationship started based off a lie, but then she tells the producers and us that upon seeing Carter lied, they had sex in his kitchen. Which…duh, I mean she came over to stay at his house after their first date, the universal sign for “we’re hooking up tonight.” If there’s ever the epitome of their relationship, that’s it: Kristen so desperate not to be alone she ignores all the red flags and tries to absolve herself of all her terrible choices.

There’s also this little moment at dinner where he encourages her not to talk to her friends about their relationship issues because it’s none of their business. While this is true, there’s also something very manipulative and sneaky about how he says it. I don’t want to say that Kristen can do better than Carter because, well that’s a generous lie, but that doesn’t mean she should settle for this manipulative troll.

Kristen wonders if there’s something she’s doing wrong in this relationship (oh, so much), whether she deserves better (again, eh), and what the future will hold with Carter (nothing good). The date ends with them basically admitting they don’t like each other while Carter fake smiles for her Instagram post that probably got 10,000 likes and helped her continue to shill some herbal tea on there to afford fake dinners like this. Circle of life.