Death on the Nile movie review: A mystery not worth solving

Happy Monday! I had the opportunity to see Death on the Nile ahead of its release and I share my thoughts on the film. Walking into the movie, I had minimal expectations, even though I thought Murder on the Orient Express was a decent watch.

Knowing that Kenneth Branagh directed the film gave me some hope after the beautiful movie he directed in Belfast last year. So often, a star-studded cast like this one can be either good or bad for the film. I can, unfortunately, report that Death on the Nile is one of those films that is extremely bad. I don’t even know where to begin with this disaster.

Gal Gadot continues to be booked and busy, and I don’t get it for the life of me. She is not a good actor. When you watch her line delivery, it’s borderline laughable. I enjoy her in the role of Wonder Woman and even liked her in Red Notice, but she should stay clear away from parts where she actually has to act.

More on the bad acting, Gal played the opposite of Armie Hammer, who has about as much charisma as a wall, which might have been fitting because they had a heck of a battle of who was going to bore me to death first. Also, can someone explain to me why Russell Brand’s accent changed completely mid-way through the movie?

Death on the Nile is 2-hour and 7-minute waste of your time

The plot was a complete and utter disaster. The film’s setup was in a more serious tone before trying to transition into a more light film in the middle while trying to be serious at the same time. It made no sense at all. The film reminds me of Scary Movie being a spoof of Scream, like Death on the Nile was the spoof of Knives Out. Before you yell at me, I know Murder on the Orient Express was first, but this felt like a big joke that no one let us in on.

The lone bright spot in the film was Sophie Okonedo, who sang her way into my heart and was the only thing I cared about every time she was on the screen. Okonedo and Branagh shared great chemistry together that I enjoyed quite a lot.

Overall, Death on the Nile is a two-hour and seven-minute waste of your time. From the terrible CGI to the bad acting to the rough script, I wholeheartedly believe you can wait till this one is available at the Redbox or on TNT with commercials before attempting to watch it.

Death on the Nile hits theaters on Feb. 11, 2022.