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Dance Moms season 7, episode 17 review: Chloe Lukasiak’s back…sort of

By Shana Lieberman

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NEW YORK, NY – MAY 20: Television Personality Chloe Lukasiak walks onstage during Beautycon Festival NYC 2017 at Brooklyn Cruise Terminal on May 20, 2017 in New York City. (Photo by Nicholas Hunt/Getty Images for Beautycon)

This week on Dance Moms, with Abby Lee Miller away, the Abby Lee Dance Company found a potential new leader in choreographer Laurieann Gibson. But the team’s biggest challenge might have been seeing former ALDC member Chloe Lukasiak competing for one of their biggest rivals.

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Not to speak for all Dance Moms viewers or anything, but it’s pretty safe to say that a lot of fans have been waiting for the return of Christi and Chloe Lukasiak since the moment they left the ALDC. Be careful what you wish for, I guess? Dance Moms season 7, episode 17 saw Chloe trying to return to her competitive roots — just not with the team that made her famous.

Oh, and Dance Moms tried to sell the narrative that Chloe was “rusty.” The Google, however, doesn’t lie (much) and assures us that Chloe’s leotards have not been sitting at home, collecting dust. Despite being too busy to compete a million times per year, Chloe continued her training at Studio 19 after leaving the ALDC.

So, while the whole “Lukasiaks sharing their nervous feelings in cars” sideshow was probably legitimate with respect to competitions, any subsequent clips of Chloe having zero clue how to do a clean turn were, well…They were something.

Furthermore, any time someone refers to whatever happens on Dance Moms as “hardcore dancing,” that’s a cause for a laugh. Chloe, sweetie, no. Just no.

Then again, if all of the “oh noes, Chloe can’t dance anymore!” drama was the only way to get a clip of Erin Babbs telling the kid to pull up and use her core? By all means, Dance Moms. Tell me more about how long it’s been since this child did any kind of “hardcore dancing.”

Just…don’t call it that.

Laurieann Gibson comes to Dance Moms, wants viewers to Google her.

Oh, Laurieann. You had me at, “I feel like Abby Lee makes robots? I make stars.”

While Chloe was busy trying to decide whether or not she belonged at Murietta Dance Project (spoiler alert: crying about a chant versus a handshake probably means no), Laurieann Gibson was busy putting up with the dance moms. Or, rather, she was training the dancers at ALDC LA while Abby Lee Miller was avoiding the consequences of her actions.

Laurieann’s style was a lot more “hands-on” than Abby’s, according to the moms. Even Kira Girard mentioned that she’d never seen someone work like Laurieann. To which I say, “not even at that studio we never talk about, Kira? Come on.”

For as much praise as the moms had for the team’s new leader, they still had plenty of reasons to complain. Jill Vertes said the situation was “ass backwards” when Laurieann worked with Maesi Caes on proving that she was no longer the black sheep. This, of course, caused a spat with Jaime Caes, who (rightfully) accused Jill of simply being jealous of Maesi.

When the in-fighting became too boring, the moms found a few moments to kvetch about Abby’s vacation and her postponed sentencing date. And the closer competition day came, the more everyone from Ashlee to Kira worried that the Laurieann Gibson wasn’t capable of working quickly enough.

Because God forbid a dance instructor spend time cleaning up part of a piece before taking it to a competition. The horror.

For years, these women have tried to act like they knew more about dancing than their daughters’ coach. Abby Lee Miller is a lot of things, but she’s not as ignorant to how dance works as the moms are. And “Miss Thang,” as Jill called Gibson (I never want to hear that again), is far, far more of a professional than Abby will ever be.

So, just stop, ladies. Please?

Normally, this would be the point in our Dance Moms recap where we’d spend some time critiquing the competition numbers.

Since no such competition existed — there was only the build-up and the obligatory “Dance moms having meltdowns at competitions” segment — the best we can do is chat about rehearsals.

The Abby Lee Dance Company’s new boss asked the dancers show off their improv skills (or lack thereof) before she chose her soloists. Here’s how it went down.

Kalani Hilliker, who was second runner-up in the best dancer competition at The Dance Awards, tried to pretend like she’s merely “like, pretty decent” at improvisation. But then, as Kalani does, she proved that she’s a wonderful dancer…and a terrible actress.

"I am not lazy. I am a hard worker."

The biggest surprise of the night came courtesy of Kendall K. Vertes. Despite rocky group rehearsals in which the entire team stayed silent when Laurieann Gibson accused her of laziness, Kendall did the most technically sound pirouettes we’ve ever seen out of her.

Check out that straight standing knee and the heel that doesn’t even think of dropping. Wow.

Ok, Kendall. Keep that up.

Nia Sioux Frazier’s aerial was so sloppy, even dance mom Holly couldn’t hide a look; and Camryn Bridges showed equally bad acrobatics. But then Elliana Walmsley came to save the day, earning a “Jesus. Lord have mercy” and a “yes, baby” out of Laurieann Gibson herself.

Maesi Caes, often picked on by Abby for being a mess (her feet continue to be) showed off the personality and sharp work that earned her a spot on Dance Moms in the first place. Closing out the dance-off, Lilliana Ketchman showed the technique that earned her a trip to Los Angeles.

The verdict? A modern solo for Nia, contemporary for Camryn, and jazz for Maesi.

The solo rehearsals were a breath of fresh air, considering the person in charge of teaching the dancers was actually teaching the dancers.

The best moment of this entire episode of Dance Moms came when Laurieann was trying to fix Camryn’s lateral T:

"Horton. It’s a modern technique."

When would Abby Lee Miller ever???? (She wouldn’t.)

But this is Dance Moms, so even in the midst of all of that learning about dance legends, the moms still needed more gossip topics. Cue conveniently-timed phone call from Christi Lukasiak here.

It went something like, “hey, bff, Holly. My kid’s competing again. But even though Abby’s gone, she’s not dancing with y’all. Sorry!” And then Holly was kind of like, “omg, rude. Guyssss, guess what Christi did?” Then, there was a bunch of shock and outrage from the rest of the moms before Holly went back to her phone to end the conversation with Christi on something like, “byeeee!”

This may or may not be a paraphrased conversation.

Either way, the phone call set up the episode’s closing drama between Christi and Jill. Remember how Jill Vertes has hazed every new ALDC member and ranted about being an “original team member?” Well, apparently, so does Christi (which means she and Chloe have probably been watching Dance Moms with the rest of us these past three years).

But like I’ve said every time it’s come up, Jill isn’t as original as she’d like everyone to believe. And Christi knows that better than anyone else. After calling her former frenemy a liar (expletive omitted), Christi rained truth tea all over Jill’s Dance Moms parade:

"You’re not not an O.G. And you know it."

Mic drop. Wounded muttering from Jill, false shock to keep the drama going from everyone else.

And that’s how we closed out the episode.

Next: Want more dance? Check out these 6 actors from comic book adaptations that starred on dance shows!

Will Chloe and MDP beat the ALDC in competition? Will Abby Lee Miller bother to make one last appearance at the studio that bears her name before her 366-day trip to prison?

Tune in to the next all-new episode of Dance Moms to find out. Or, if you’d rather not suffer through it, feel free to stay tuned for all of our Dance Moms posts.

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