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Modern Family season 9, episode 15 recap: Spanks for the Memories

By Michael Bibbins

MODERN FAMILY - "Spanks for the Memories" - When Jay overhears Gloria on the phone talking about spanking, he assumes she is frustrated in the bedroom. When he attempts to light the spark again by giving her exactly what she wants, he realizes he might have made a mistake. Meanwhile, now that Mitchell has an amazing new job, he and Cam throw a party to rub it in Cam's friends' faces so they can no longer give him "the look of pity," on "Modern Family," WEDNESDAY, MARCH 7 (9:00-9:31 p.m. EST), on The ABC Television Network. (ABC/Ron Tom)ERIC STONESTREET, JESSE TYLER FERGUSON
MODERN FAMILY - "Spanks for the Memories" - When Jay overhears Gloria on the phone talking about spanking, he assumes she is frustrated in the bedroom. When he attempts to light the spark again by giving her exactly what she wants, he realizes he might have made a mistake. Meanwhile, now that Mitchell has an amazing new job, he and Cam throw a party to rub it in Cam's friends' faces so they can no longer give him "the look of pity," on "Modern Family," WEDNESDAY, MARCH 7 (9:00-9:31 p.m. EST), on The ABC Television Network. (ABC/Ron Tom)ERIC STONESTREET, JESSE TYLER FERGUSON /
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In this week’s episode of Modern Family, Jay catches the wrong part of Gloria’s phone conversation and takes a big risk. Meanwhile, Alex debates what she wants to do with her summer, and Mitch counts his chickens before they hatch.

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The last installment of Modern Family featured Phil telling Jay that Gloria is fed up with his lame Valentine’s Day gifts. Phil completely misinterpreted what she was saying, but Jay embarrassed himself before the truth was made clear. In this week’s episode, Jay manages to do this to himself, highlighting his insecurities about having a much younger wife.

In our subplots, Alex believes she has become the adult and is now becoming the parent to her father. It turns out, however, that he still has some guidance to offer. Then, Mitch gets a new job and decides to show off for he and Cam’s friends, but things fall apart rather suddenly.

Gloria and Jay

The episode starts with Gloria cleaning Joe’s room while talking on the phone. She’s talking about how messy Joe is and how she isn’t sure what she’s going to do with him. During the conversation Jay walks by and hears the following lines:

  • “It’s a disaster in the bedroom. It’s like he can’t remember where things go.”
  • “Sometimes I get so frustrated I just take care of it myself.”
  • “Spanking? It could be worth a try. Javier and I tried it a long time ago, it was a game changer.”

Jay of course think she’s referring to his performance in the bedroom and decides to take action that night. As Gloria leans over to turn off the light, Jay slaps her butt three times. Gloria is caught completely off guard and Jay immediately backs down and turns away.

MODERN FAMILY – “Spanks for the Memories” – When Jay overhears Gloria on the phone talking about spanking, he assumes she is frustrated in the bedroom. When he attempts to light the spark again by giving her exactly what she wants, he realizes he might have made a mistake. Meanwhile, now that Mitchell has an amazing new job, he and Cam throw a party to rub it in Cam’s friends’ faces so they can no longer give him “the look of pity,” on “Modern Family,” WEDNESDAY, MARCH 7 (9:00-9:31 p.m. EST), on The ABC Television Network. (ABC/Ron Tom)ERIC STONESTREET, JESSE TYLER FERGUSON
MODERN FAMILY – “Spanks for the Memories” – When Jay overhears Gloria on the phone talking about spanking, he assumes she is frustrated in the bedroom. When he attempts to light the spark again by giving her exactly what she wants, he realizes he might have made a mistake. Meanwhile, now that Mitchell has an amazing new job, he and Cam throw a party to rub it in Cam’s friends’ faces so they can no longer give him “the look of pity,” on “Modern Family,” WEDNESDAY, MARCH 7 (9:00-9:31 p.m. EST), on The ABC Television Network. (ABC/Ron Tom)ERIC STONESTREET, JESSE TYLER FERGUSON /

Cam and Mitch

In Cam and Mitch’s house they’re celebrating. Mitch gets a job with a wealthy businessman and decides to throw a party. Not because they want to enjoy a party, but so they can get the, half “we’re genuinely excited for you” and half “we’re also jealous” looks.

Cam, of course, takes it to another level by buying a piano.

Phil and Alex

Back at the Dunphy house Phil is in the kitchen when Alex shows up. She’s talking about applying for a stressful summer internship at MIT and talking about it as if she doesn’t think she’ll get in. Phil tells her that she has no reason to doubt that she’ll get in. That’s when Alex notices him packing a bunch of snacks for lunch and decides to make him a more healthy meal. She also notices that he’s going to the magic shop later than normal and he admits that one of the other shop owners is bullying him. Alex offers the advice of standing up to the bully. Between the lunch, and the bully, Alex thinks she’s becoming the parent in the relationship.

MODERN FAMILY – “Spanks for the Memories” – When Jay overhears Gloria on the phone talking about spanking, he assumes she is frustrated in the bedroom. When he attempts to light the spark again by giving her exactly what she wants, he realizes he might have made a mistake. Meanwhile, now that Mitchell has an amazing new job, he and Cam throw a party to rub it in Cam’s friends’ faces so they can no longer give him “the look of pity,” on “Modern Family,” WEDNESDAY, MARCH 7 (9:00-9:31 p.m. EST), on The ABC Television Network. (ABC/Ron Tom)ERIC STONESTREET, JESSE TYLER FERGUSON
MODERN FAMILY – “Spanks for the Memories” – When Jay overhears Gloria on the phone talking about spanking, he assumes she is frustrated in the bedroom. When he attempts to light the spark again by giving her exactly what she wants, he realizes he might have made a mistake. Meanwhile, now that Mitchell has an amazing new job, he and Cam throw a party to rub it in Cam’s friends’ faces so they can no longer give him “the look of pity,” on “Modern Family,” WEDNESDAY, MARCH 7 (9:00-9:31 p.m. EST), on The ABC Television Network. (ABC/Ron Tom)ERIC STONESTREET, JESSE TYLER FERGUSON /

The party

At the party, Mitch keeps getting interrupted when trying to get out the news about his job. Finally, he forces it out and gets the exact reaction he was hoping for. He’s trying to enjoy it but Cam pulls him into the kitchen to share some news.

It appears that the wealthy businessman Mitch was just hired by has been caught embezzling money. The job is not going to happen. Because they don’t want someone else at the party to figure this out. Cam decides to collect everyone’s phones and just fake it for the rest of the party.

Jay and Claire

After Jay’s failure in the bedroom, he decides to get a bottle from the old job. He runs into Claire along the way and shares his story with her. He goes as far as to say he’s: “been doing the same move since the 70’s” and he “might as well be doing the hustle in there.”

Claire, working through her disgust, tells Jay that he made it about her body, and that she’s a smart woman. She tells Jay to try to stimulate her mind.

Conversely, Claire was blown off by Cam and Mitch’s friend who is choosing a cover-person for a women in business magazine. Her dad says it’s because she was dressed down, and that she needs to “play the game.”

Gloria and Mitch

Back at Cam and Mitch’s, Gloria shows up for advice on her and Phil. They are immediately invested when she mentions spanking.

Gloria tells them how surprised she was and Mitch tells her that sometimes people do things to people that they want done to themselves. He was hinting at Cam but it doesn’t appear Cam is catching on.

Meanwhile, Cam has movers coming to get the piano and decides to trick his friends into the bathroom and lock them in) while the piano is taken away.

Alex and Phil

Later, at the magic shop, Alex comes in to tell her dad that she got the internship. While she’s there, her dad’s bully shows up. It’s a younger woman and she owns the board game shop. Phil take it initially, but then Alex convinces him to stand up to her. They decide to settle their differences over a game of “Wizards and Warlocks” but when Alex realizes how bad her dad is at the game, she steps in for him.

Jay and Gloria

Back at home, loaded with their advice, Jay and Gloria are sitting on the couch. When Jay reaches for a crossword puzzle (stimulate her mind) Gloria spanks him. Jay yells “what the hell!” and then so does Joe on the stairs before promising to clean his room. It appears Joe had heard his mom’s conversation from the beginning of the episode.

Alex and Phil

Alex is winning the game of Wizards and Warlocks but has to run if she’s going to turn in her acceptance form on time. As she starts to leave her dad starts making bad decisions in the game. Phil realizes that Alex’s references to risk versus the choice with better odds are about her own decision. He tells her that is she doing it because she wants to, or because it’s what she’s supposed to do. Alex does not want to do the internship and it looks like dad is still parenting.

Claire, Cam, and Mitch

In order to keep up the ruse, Cam and Mitch pile up boxes where the piano was and cover them with sheets. The friends then ask cam to play something, and fortunately he had set his regular keyboard up so he can play it but they notice the sound is off. Cam is still pulling this off until Claire, who has returned in a red dress to try to get the magazine cover, decides to dive onto the “piano.” The boxes collapse and Mitch and Cam’s ruse is exposed.

Jay and Gloria

After the mistake is cleared up, Jay and Gloria decide that there was never anything wrong in the bedroom. Then, they both freeze and decide there may be some things they’d each like to try. They decide to write them down and put them in a hat and draw out different options. Jay pulls “Chitty Chitty Bang Bang” and gets worried, but it was a leftover card from a game night.

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The end

As the credits roll we see all 3 of the adult household bedrooms. Jay and Gloria have one more mishap as Gloria pulls “My Left Foot” from the hat. Then Cam asks Mitch what he just did and Mitch says “it’s called a Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.” Meanwhile, at the Dunphy house it’s role-play time. Phil comes out of the bathroom with a wizard beard on and does a funny voice. The episode ends with Claire telling him to keep the beard but stop talking.

Modern Family airs Wednesday nights on ABC. 

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