Modern Family season 9, episode 16 recap: Wine Weekend

In the latest episode of Modern Family, the family takes a trip to wine country and will be staying in Haley’s new boss’ house. The fun trip, however, quickly turns into one full of secrets between spouses, and lies to cover them up.

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Previously on Modern Family, Haley got a new job. Her new boss has a nice house in wine country and allows Haley’s family to stay there when they make a trip up. The only rule that Haley gives them is that they can’t touch a tiara that is sitting out in the open. That sounds like a simple enough rule but things quickly become complicated.

Before we get to the tiara however, we need to establish all of the side adventures that the family ends up going on. This family loves to lie to each other. Even though they aren’t very good at it.

Claire’s trip trick

Early on in the trip we see Phil wearing some ridiculous bear slippers. Claire hates them but she actually told him to bring them. She tells her dad that she has this trick where she makes Phil bring items of clothing that she hates on trips, then conveniently “forgets to pack them” when they leave. She has thrown past items into the Grand Canyon and Niagara Falls. Jay points out that she needs to stop desecrating national monuments.

Jay and Stella

Meanwhile, Jay tells Claire that Stella has been depressed since their neighbor’s dog died. He wanted to bring her on the trip but Gloria wanted them to have time alone. Jay does the reasonable thing and puts Stella in a hotel. Reasonable until Claire points out that the hotel down the road is the Ritz. Don’t worry though, Jay didn’t spend a ton of money. He had points.

Oprah?

Mitch and Gloria run into Pepper’s husband Ronaldo who says that he is catering a party at Oprah’s house. He tells them he can get the two of them in but that they can’t bring Cam. Cam and Pepper are currently feuding over something petty and Mitch does not hesitate to accept.

Before they leave for Oprah’s party, Gloria tries on the tiara saying that she looks like Miss Universe.

Phil and Cam

How was Mitch able to go to the party so easily? Cam was off doing his own thing. Phil and Cam are convinced that they are stars in their dance class. They have planned to ditch their spouses and practice together to try to make it into the advanced Tuesday class.

Before they leave to practice, Cam tries on the tiara.

Outside at the tennis courts, Phil and Cam hilariously practice their hip-hop dance moves but they’re making a lot of mistakes. They’re both blaming themselves (Phil is too early, Cam is too late) but they are realizing they may not be cut out for the advanced class.

The bear slipper mistake

Jay ends up bringing Stella to the house and, of course, he takes a picture of Stella with the tiara on. Stella then runs out of the house and finds Claire as she’s digging a hole for Phil’s slippers. Stella then grabs one of the slippers and runs off.

Claire eventually finds Stella and the slipper but Jay refuses to let her take it. Stella has apparently fallen in love with the slipper and is using it to fill the hole left in her heart by the neighbor’s dog passing. Jay plans to take the slipper home with him.

The candy dish

When Gloria and Mitch leave Oprah’s party, Mitch drops a candy dish that he stole. Gloria calls him out for not allowing her to take anything and they agree to share custody of the dish. (Gloria gets it for holidays.)

Detective Manny

Haley suddenly realizes that the tiara is cracked. Manny (who was brought along to be the designated driver) decides to send a text out to everyone so they can “come down.” Everyone is outside of course so they all quickly come up with cover stories.

Claire wants to use the story that she saw a moose but Jay quickly changes it to a story about him warming up milk for her because her stomach hurts.

Phil, Cam, Mitch, and Gloria grab robes as they come in (narrowly avoiding seeing each other) to cover up their hip hop clothes/evening dress.

Once they’re all gathered, Phil actually uses Jay’s cover story and Jay has to use the one that Claire had come up with about her seeing a moose.

Manny should keep his day job

As Manny sets out to unravel the mystery, the first clue appears. It’s a dog treat but Manny says that it’s the bottom of two gingerbread men stuck together. Jay quickly eats it saying that it’s a human treat and Manny accepts this (despite Jay obviously being disgusted by the taste.)

Outside, they find that Jay and Gloria’s car has moved (Mitch and Gloria took it out) and Manny says that the moose must have done it because he heard a story about one doing something similar. When Haley finds the candy dish beside the car, Manny dismisses it completely.

The group then ends up on the tennis courts where Phil and Cam left two chairs. They admit to being outside, but come up with an elaborate story. They say that they used the chairs to chase off a raccoon and end up doing a perfectly synchronized dance routine when they tell their story.

Jay tries to call out Phil and yells at him to “speak” his truth when Stella suddenly barks from another area. Jay tries to say it must be a California barking moose but they head in the direction to investigate.

Of course, they find Stella in a shed and of course Jay lies and says she must have tracked them. That’s when Phil notices his slipper and questions Claire about why it was outside.

The truth comes to the light

Suddenly, Stella pulls at Phil’s robe and everyone’s lies start to unravel. The candy dish comes out and when Cam looks at it he sees the initials “M.O.” and is mad at Mitch for going to Michelle Obama’s without him. Mitch then flips it and Cam is now mad that he went to Oprah’s without him. Jay is actually mad at Gloria for this as well because he is surprisingly a Oprah fan.

So who broke the tiara?

Since they all touched the tiara, they agree to split the cost of fixing it. Haley’s plan worked. She actually showed up the day before everyone and broke the tiara herself. She knew though, that if she told her family not to touch it that someone would and she would be able to pass the blame off on them. She’s smarter than they think, but she’s also relieved that the stupid moose didn’t ruin her plan.

Next: Black-ish Season 4, Episode 16 recap

Bonus scene

At the end of the episode, Ronaldo facetimes Cam and Mitch and is clearly tied up. He says that Oprah knows about the candy dish and it is one that she stole… I’m sorry, one that was given to her by Michelle Obama. Ronaldo won’t be released until they have it back. From this call, Cam takes away that they have Michelle Obama’s dish, and Mitch takes away that Oprah has their number. Poor Ronaldo.

Modern Family will return next Wednesday night at 9/8 Central!