My 600-lb Life Season 7, Episode 9 Tiffany’s story is irritating

As My 600-lb Life inexplicably continues to find U.S. born, sumo wrestlers, one has to wonder when someone like Tiffany will take responsibility.

Tiffany is the latest whiner on My 600-lb Life. According to her, she’s visible from orbit not because she thinks KFC buckets are single-serving, but because her family just ate big portions.

Yes, her family ate big, her dad was big, and her dad couldn’t work, and depression, and blah blah blah. She refuses to say the word fat, and she also refuses to acknowledge the fact she was a 150-lb five-year-old with a mullet. Honestly, at the emotional story portion of the show I pretty much run errands or go to the bathroom. It’s a good five-minute break to heat up some nachos or pizza rolls.

Home life

Tiffany’s

prisoner

boyfriend

caretaker Aaron helps her out of bed. She hates looking at her own body. That makes at least two of us. Her front-butt is blistered, angry, and down to her knees. Thankfully (sarcasm), she heads to the shower for full display.

The average meal

Let’s start the day with food, from a mini-fridge in her bedroom. Breakfast is a Drumstick y’all! Eye scream, her cat screams, we all scream for ice cream. Pain and worry fade away, replaced by inevitable diabetes and foot amputation. A bucket of ice cream follows.

Thankfully, her man comes home to get her…to go shopping for food. She literally has to gain inertia and swing her leg up to get into the car. After mere minutes shopping without one of those mobilized scooters, Tiffany has to slowly head back to the car to rest. Very slowly. So slowly, in fact, someone honks at her three times and then chastises her moments later.

Rest easy, however, because Aaron is here to save the day. With a sleeve of cookies. Unsatiated, she growls for Aaron to get McDonald’s (a large double quarter pounder meal, 20-piece McNuggets, and cookies). And that’s STILL not enough! Before they head home, she demands pizza. Aaron gets pizza, wings, and a calzone.

Dr. Now’s initial evaluation

She makes Aaron get her a burger and fries at the airport. And doesn’t get to the bathroom before boarding. So she pisses herself after deplaning. Then she has to make three attempts to get into the minivan cab. Followed by yet another stop for fast food, where she orders five different meals with Yahtzee dice.

OK, that last part is made up. Despite needing obesity-based Depends, she’s proud of herself.

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Initial Weight: 672.5. It was probably somewhere around 650 before the previous two days full of Biblical levels of gluttony.

She tells Dr. Now she just binges at the end of the night. And snacks are usually crackers, yogurt, grapes. We all know Dr. Now isn’t the man running My 600-lb Life because he puts up with BS like she’s spewing. The 1200-calorie ultimatum is met with complaints of a limited income, which contradicts the fast food diet and her Ben & Jerry’s habit.

The follow-up appointments & therapy

Month 2: She says she’s following all rules, and I don’t believe it for a second. She moves to Houston without Dr. Now’s approval. Washington to Texas is somehow a 5-day drive. Gee, I wonder what they were eating the entire drive?

Month 3: Weigh in time! 646-lbs. EL.OH.EL. She doesn’t understand and thinks Dr. Now is still going to approve her. Completely oblivious.

Month 4: Instead of simply NOT opening the cabinet with Aaron’s delicious food, she blames him for not supporting her. Like the reinforced box springs supporting the mattress one foot off the floor. I think Tiffany’s alone now.

Month 5: Stomach pains. Gall stones. Only she says “gol stones.” Ironic considering the gall she has had when lying to Dr. Now numerous times. Of course, they had to weigh her for the procedure, and Dr. Now knows she has no chance of making weight. The final chance: lose 80-lbs in the next two months.

Month 6: Somehow they’re on a fixed income, but manage to pay for a one-on-one personal trainer. Of course, the trainer appears to be slightly overweight himself; so, there may be a discount. Dinner is chicken with brussels sprouts, and the dog is far too relaxed.

Month 7: Weigh in at 555-lbs. A loss of 72-lbs, which means she is STILL not following the plan all the way. Surgery approved two months later. Dr. Now dangles that chocolate-covered carrot to motivate Tiffany to stay on track.

Month 9: She’s at 491-lbs. Her train-wreck mother shows up, and for a second there’s confusion about that Rocky Dennis movie with Cher and Sam Elliott.

Month 10: Weight at 454, total loss of 219. Therapy with Lola, and it’s boilerplate. Instead of telling Tiffany to look in a mirror, Lola placates the whining.

Month 11: 436, total weight loss of 237. A video goes to Dad because Lola empowered Tiffany without any sort of personal responsibility at all.

Month 12: 415/258. She pressures Aaron into an on-camera commitment to marriage and kids.

This isn’t one of those episodes like Brandon’s. He had my support day one. Cheering for Tiffany didn’t fully take place because she never once fully committed.

My 600-lb Life airs Wednesdays on TLC.