The Bachelorette recap: Colton faces Tia, two men go to the hospital and Becca suffers another letdown

The Bachelorette — ABC/Craig Sjodin — Acquired via Disney ABC Press
The Bachelorette — ABC/Craig Sjodin — Acquired via Disney ABC Press /

On The Bachelorette, Becca feels more optimistic as her connections with some of the guys grow stronger. Two men sustain injuries, and Becca decides whether or not to take a chance on Colton.

Things are still salty between Jordan and David on The Bachelorette. David has pegged Jordan as someone who lacks depth, spending more time coordinating his ensembles than anything else. Yes, David, it’s unlikely Becca and Jordan will connect on an “intellectual level,” but you’re better off worrying about your relationship with Becca than Jordan’s — eye on the prize, buddy.

Jordan isn’t worried. He thinks Becca’s looking for someone a bit more charismatic than David (who spends all him time making eggs). Jordan’s plan for sticking around is to be fun.

Colton knows he’s hanging by a very thin thread. After two tough conversations with Becca about Colton’s past relationship with Tia, things haven’t progressed between the twosome.

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This week onThe Bachelorette there are three dates: two group dates and a one on one. The first group date card hints that it’s time to “relax.” The lucky recipients are Wills, Jason, Jordan, David, Jean Blanc and Colton.

Becca recruits some of her girlfriends to grill the contenders: Tia, Bekah, Caroline, Seinne and Kendall. The men have no idea they’re about to enter a den of estrogen. This should be particularly awkward (and arranged specifically by producers for that very reason) for Colton since he’ll reunite with Tia.

This also comes as a surprise to Tia. The other women are shocked to hear about the Colton-Tia romance. Tia clarifies that her and Colton’s date/hookup/fling took place before Arie’s season even aired.

Colton and Tia ended things once he decided to join the cast of season 14 of The Bachelorette. Tia admits it’s possible Colton thought she was going to be in Becca’s place. If that’s the case, it’s sketchy to think Colton was just trying to get the inside track, collaborating with Tia for her to take him to the end if she were the Bachelorette.

If there was a connection between them, why wouldn’t they just date and leave the reality show out of the equation? This whole thing makes zero sense to me. Dating someone so you can break up with them, only to go on and date them on national TV???? Sorry, Bachelor Nation, I’m lost.

Or, as Colton told Becca, the timing just wasn’t right with Tia, and he saw an opportunity to meet the woman of his dreams on a series that boasts a horrible record for successful long-term relationships.

Becca’s still unsure about Colton, but if she suspects even a small part of him agreed to come on the show because he thought he’d be wooing Tia, she plans to send him home.

The guys arrive and learn they’ll be pampering some “very special clients.” Becca’s beautiful gfs are clad in robes and give the men a warm welcome. Colton may be entirely freaked out, but he puts his game face on.

There’s lots of nail painting (even the guys get manicures). It’s a “pamperingpalooza.” What Kendall is looking for are the men who go out of their way to give Becca special attention.

The elephant in the room has to be addressed, so Becca pulls Tia aside to get her side of the story when it comes to Colton. Tia reveals the most she and Colton did was kiss, and they never had an established conversation about what they were.

(ABC/Paul Hebert)
(ABC/Paul Hebert) /

A few days into whatever they had, Colton told Tia he’d applied for the show, and Tia apparently didn’t see the point in moving forward. Other factors were at play, including the distance (Colton lives in Denver and Tia in Arkansas).

Becca questions Tia if she thinks Colton came on the show hoping Tia would be the Bachelorette, and Tia answers truthfully that it’s a possibility. Tia hopes Colton is on the show for Becca, and Becca responds only time will tell. The girls hug it out. It’s nice to see some sisters before misters bonding going on.

Becca is starting to dig Jason, even though she forgot his name at the beginning of the date. He’s okay, but the greased back hair has got to go. Becca admits that she’s got a little crush on him, and he makes her nervous.

As Jason and Becca make out, Jordan brags to the other men about a notification he received from Tinder in 2017, stating he’d reached 4,000 matches. The guys try to do the math, wondering how much time Jordan spends on Tinder.

I don’t know jack about Tinder (Jordan boasts a 100% success rate), nor do I care, but it’s obvious David is trying to figure out how to use this information against his adversary.

Sure enough, when David gets his time with Becca, he uses it to throw Jordan under the bus, after claiming he’s not one to throw people under the bus (I see a two-on-one date in these guys’ futures).

After David and Becca’s time together, Becca comes out and high fives Jordan, congratulating him on his 4,000 matches. She does a drive by, leaving David and Jordan to deal with the aftermath. Jordan calls David out for being a “bitch” and stomps off.

David thinks the whole thing is funny, but nobody else is laughing.

Jordan attempts to defend himself to Becca, but she doesn’t care. She’s making light of it, which reinforces the fact that she could care less about Jordan. She’s not jealous. She’s amused. Jordan goes on about how hard it is as a model to find a girl who’s more than a pretty face but reassures Becca that when it comes to relationships, he’s as loyal as a golden retriever (if not as smart).

David and Jordan go back and forth some more. Jordan accuses David of trying to wreck his image, which Jordan insists isn’t possible because attached to him is “professionality.”

I could watch Jordan mispronounce and make up words all night, but we’ve still got to sit through another agonizing convo between Becca and Colton. Becca’s already had one wishy-washy man in her past, and she’s not going to deal with someone who doesn’t know who or what they want this time around.

Seeing Tia didn’t bring up any feelings for Colton. He’s certain the potential is there between him and Becca. WTF else is he going to say? This one should be kicked to the curb because the whole thing is shady. It’s another reason why ABC needs to stop recycling cast members on The Bachelorette and infuse fresh blood into the franchise.

Colton tells Becca what she wants to hear because their conversation ends with kissing. Doubtful she’s sending hot guy packing now. Things go so well, Colton gets the group date rose.

Chris scores the one-on-one date. They arrive at Capitol Records where washed-up ’80s singer/heart-throb Richard Marx is right there waiting for Becca. Marx informs the couple he’ll be helping them write their love song. This should be a piece of cake since they’ve spent less time together than it takes for me to get a bikini wax.

Chris struggles with being vulnerable and opening up so fast. Seems like this date was tailor-made for our boy, Clay, or whichever dude(s) has written her poetry.

I absolutely refuse to regurgitate the nonsensical, sappy lyrics these two came up with. There’s plenty of time for this kind of faux sentimentality later on in the season.

Over dinner, Becca wants to know why Chris has so much trouble opening up. Chris worries about putting it all out there, just for Becca to not reciprocate. He’s also got some serious daddy issues. Let’s face facts, The Bachelor and The Bachelorette traffic a bit in emotional terrorism.

Becca’s so impressed Chris is willing to go outside his comfort zone that she gives him the rose.

Back at the house, David is carried out on a stretcher. We don’t know the deets of what’s happened. There’s a pool of blood, and Lincoln’s concerned that David might not make it.

The following morning, the guys are still shaken, and it’s up to Chris Harrison to break the news to Becca about what’s happened. David is in intensive care. His face is busted up, but nobody beat the crap out of him. David fell out of bed and landed on his face. Talk about anti-climactic.

Becca calls David who sounds perky enough. He promises he’ll be back once he’s healed. He sure won’t be as pretty as when he left.

One person who has a hard time feigning empathy is Jordan. He chalks David’s misfortune up to karma.

Bizarre bunk bed accidents aside, the show must go on. Clay, Leo, Christon, Ryan, John, Garrett, Mike, Lincoln, Connor and Blake get a shot at “scoring” with Becca on the second group date. The men are going to play football. Since this season is supposedly all about female empowerment, Legends Football League stars Melissa Miles and Dina Karwoski are on hand to run some drills.

(ABC/Paul Hebert)
(ABC/Paul Hebert) /

These types of competitions are pretty common, so I won’t provide color commentary. Clay, a professional football player, is the MVP, but winds up hurting his wrist. What a shame if his career goes kaput because of The Bachelorette. That’s two guys hospitalized in one episode. That has to be a first.

This group of guys are far more chill than the first. Blake is having a hard time overcoming having to share Becca. He does call Becca his girlfriend which makes Becca downright giddy.

Clay shows up with his arm in a sling. He’s not sure how extensive the damage is, but he’s not about to miss out on any time with Becca.

This guy couldn’t be any sweeter if he were a cube of sugar. It’s no shocker that Becca bestows the group date rose on Clay.

By the time the cocktail party rolls around, Becca’s in a pretty good mood. She tells the guys how much fun she had on all her dates, and that’s she forming some real “connections.” That word gets thrown around a lot every week, but it’s really the word du jour of episode 3.

Clay reveals that his wrist requires surgery immediately. Football is how Clay makes his living and supports members of his family. As rare as it is to meet a girl like Becca, a guy’s gotta eat. If Clay wasn’t so damn sincere, you’d think he was paving the way to become the next Bachelor.

Let’s call it like it is, Becca isn’t that special. She’s a nice girl and all, but whatever “connection” Clay’s formed with her is based on very little. Clay breaks the news to Becca that he’s got to go. They part ways, and Becca’s in tears. I’m not sure whether it’s because he was a top contender or just because she thinks he’s a stand up guy. Maybe a mix of both.

Next: A rundown of Becca's standout suitors

Did Clay really have a shot of making it to the end? Is the bickering between David and Jordan amusing or annoying? Let us know what you think in the comments section below.

The Bachelorette airs Mondays at 8/7c on ABC. Tune in to see who Becca sends home next.