Crossing Swords: Patrick’s biggest blunders

Crossing Swords -- "Pilot" -- Photo courtesy of Sony/Acquired via Hulu Press Site
Crossing Swords -- "Pilot" -- Photo courtesy of Sony/Acquired via Hulu Press Site /

Patrick from Crossing Swords made a few blunders this season

Hulu‘s newest original series Crossing Swords is a must-watch for any fans of Adult Swim’s Robot Chicken. The new animated Hulu series was created by Robot Chicken writer and executive producer Tom Root and John Harvatine IV, respectively, and stars Nicholas Hoult as Patrick, a peasant who becomes the squire to King Merriman (Luke Evans).

Although Patrick dreams of being the hero that the kingdom needs, he quickly learns that the kingdom is run by a slew of corrupt dignitaries led by the dishonorable King Merriman and his wife, Queen Tulip (Alanna Ubach).

Throughout the season, Patrick has to adjust to life working for the royal family while trying to maintain his moral compass. Unfortunately, it’s not so easy, and he makes a few blunders along the way.

Let’s take a look at some of the biggest mistakes Patrick made this season. Spoilers ahead!

Crossing Swords Episode 2 – Patrick accidentally kills Robin Hood

In an attempt to maintain control of the kingdom after receiving an unsatisfactory approval rating, due to his decision to trade the kingdom’s grain reserve for magic beans, King Merriman decides to hold a public execution to scare his royal subjects into subserviency.

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King Merriman, not looking to be bothered with making important decisions, puts Patrick in charge of choosing a prisoner to die, which doesn’t sit well with the young squire, who’s opposed to the death penalty. Still, Patrick obeys his orders and heads down to the dungeon to pick a truly heinous individual for execution.

He ends up choosing Chuckster the Huckster, a man who stole money to pay for a gold yacht that his mistress then drowned on. As Chuckster the Huckster is later brought out for execution by way of King Merriman’s Hot Tub Death Machine, Patrick begins to regret his decision and tries to sabotage the machine.

At the last minute, Chuckster the Huckster takes off a mask to reveal that he’s Robin Hood (Alfred Molina), the hero of the peasants, making Patrick feel better about his sabotage.

Unfortunately, Patrick was unsuccessful, leaving the death machine completely functional, and leaving the kingdom’s citizens to watch as Robin Hood is brutally murdered.

Crossing Swords Episode 4 – Patrick accidentally kills Princess Blossom’s boyfriend

When King Merriman and Queen Tulip’s daughter Princess Bloom (Maya Erskine) returns home from boarding school, she’s eager to attend the annual Beast Feast music festival. However, with an assassin on the loose, the king and queen forbid her from leaving her room until Amateur Mime Night at the kingdom’s children’s hospital and have Patrick guard the door.

Unfortunately, that’s not enough to keep Princess Blossom locked away, and Patrick quickly finds her parachuting out the window.

Patrick and his squire buddy, Broth (Adam Pally), track her down at Beast Feast to find that she’s smitten with Keefer (Ben Schwartz), the frontman for death metal band Testa-Kyll. As Princess Blossom joins Keefer on stage at a Testa-Kyll concert later that night, Patrick saves her from an assassination attempt. While Princess Blossom is grateful for Patrick’s sacrifice, her gratitude is short-lived after Keefer lands into an iron maiden after Patrick saves him from a falling lantern.

Crossing Swords Episode 10 – Patrick dates the assassin

In the Crossing Swords season finale, the assassin is revealed to be the castle cook Sloane (Jameela Jamil). Sloane, whose real name is Danielle, reveals herself to be the daughter of Donna, King Merriman’s older sister, and the rightful heir to the throne.

After being separated from her mother as a baby, Danielle made it her mission to kill the royal family and anyone in the line of succession. It’s a task that’s been made much easier thanks to her burgeoning romance with Patrick, who’s divulged all of the royal family’s secrets to her.

Although she offers him a place as her king upon her mother’s death, Patrick refuses to join her after she insinuates that she plans to kill her mother. As the two engage in a sword fight, Danielle removes a bomb from her pocket.

However, Patrick tackles her, and she drops the bomb, causing an explosion. With the castle about to collapse, Patrick rescues the royal family, allowing Danielle to jump off the castle’s roof with homemade wings. Sadly, Donna follows suit but doesn’t make it.

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What did you think of Crossing Swords?  What are your hopes for Season 2? Will Patrick become a knight? Will Danielle get her revenge on King Merriman?

Crossing Swords is now streaming on Hulu