'This Is Us': Rebecca Pearson should have the space to grow

‘This Is Us’ paints an honest picture of a matriarch who appears to have a fulfilling home life. But Rebecca Pearson deserves personal fulfillment, too.

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In its short time on the air, This Is Us has started a number of conversations and inspired a flood of emotion. These real stories about blended families, race, weight loss, and all matters in between have torn down the walls separating the audience from the characters. We’re relating to the Pearson family through tears and truth, and Rebecca Pearson’s lack of room to grow is one of the underrated stories of the series.

This Is Us centered its first season finale on the fractures in Rebecca and Jack’s marriage that had mostly always been in place but expanded in the wake of change. Back before Rebecca met Jack, and even when she met him, she had been pursuing a career in music. She sang at open mic nights, sent demos to record labels, and dreamed of performing on stage. We understand that these accomplishments would be spiritually fulfilling, and we see her struggle with giving up her pre-Big Three life to start a family. But no one should be pigeonholed to simply exist as one thing, especially not a matriarch and musician as dynamic as Rebecca Pearson.

It would be unfair to rest Rebecca’s stunted restart squarely on Jack’s shoulders. He doesn’t help by stifling her growth and refusing to reconfigure who Rebecca is. But fear and guilt are two fickle mistresses in the fight to follow your dreams, and they enchant our fierce matriarch Rebecca Pearson like a siren. However, accessing the strength to reject the siphoning of one’s power is much easier when those around you lend their support and hold space for you to grow. Rebecca hasn’t been fully offered that support or space. Nonetheless, she takes it.

Granted the time period in which she revamped her music goals, the late ’90s, women still weren’t in a comfortable position to exercise ambitions outside of the household. A probable majority of mothers were expected to forgo career aspirations to wait in pickup lines, purchase groceries, fold laundry while gasping over General Hospital, and have dinner on the table by six. Conversely, fathers were enforcers and fun factories, laying down the law and letting out the laughter when they returned from the office. Jack Pearson, anyone?

These, of course, are circumstantial generalizations of the heternormative, nuclear experience that don’t represent the lives of the masses. For some, the family setup is reversed or both parents work to provide a living for their family. And for others, it’s unlike either situation. But for Rebecca Pearson, this is her reality. She keeps the household in orbit for her husband and children, and while it’s no doubt rewarding to care for them, she has sidelined her creative energy to raise a family.

THIS IS US — “I Call Marriage” Episode 114 — Pictured: Mandy Moore as Rebecca Pearson — (Photo by: Ron Batzdorff/NBC). Acquired from NBCUniversal Media Village. /

Now that Rebecca has approached a natural dead end in her mothering, with three self-sufficient teenagers, she can claim a moment to think about herself. Every parent — every human — who gives away so much of themselves with little in return earns the right to be justly selfish from time to time. Rebecca slowly reintroduces herself to the world of music, which quickly turns into joining a band with her former flame (that’s another story) and flirting with the idea of embarking on a five-state tour. Far from a world tour, but for the Pearson family, she might as well be Katy Perry.

In spite of his initial support, Jack has a tougher time swallowing Rebecca’s impending leave for tour than the children. Maybe it’s because for the better part of two decades, Rebecca has belonged to him. Not as a possession, but as a partner. And part of letting her grow is letting her go and potentially sharing her with thousands or millions of fans. It’s scary to breakaway from set patterns, and he’s not wrong in feeling like he’s losing grip. But jumping to an unbecoming, controlling version of himself does more damage than a small bar tour ever could.

In a March interview with Peter Travers, Mandy Moore expressed her shock at the reactions she heard in response to Rebecca’s aspirations to temporarily leave home. Moore caught both ends of the spectrum, with some cheering on Rebecca and others bemoaning her desire to tour. For Moore, the reactions from those who championed Rebecca giving up her dream were unexpected. As a mother, Rebecca Pearson has a responsibility to care for her family. But as a woman, she has a responsibility to herself to explore all avenues of her agency.

Let’s not mind words, though. It’s perfectly acceptable that countless women and men prefer to make the home and attain unimaginable fulfillment from doing so. If that’s part of your journey, without a wisp of the what-ifs, then go on with your bad self. Do you. But Rebecca’s second act doesn’t necessarily need to involve scheduling carpools and packing individualized lunches for her teenaged triplets. She has a voice, and she wants to use it. No one, including her husband, should want to tell her to sit down and stay home.

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Just as it is unproductive to judge someone for wanting less than you, it’s unproductive to judge someone for wanting more. Our trajectories, no matter how close in range, aren’t explicitly parallel. There are zigs and zags, shortcuts and rough corners, with no true destination in sight. Because Jack envisioned their lives one way doesn’t mean Rebecca’s own mental image will — or should — fall in line. And because making the home works for some does not mean it will for all.

Unfortunately, space isn’t being held for Rebecca to attain actualization outside of the home, forcing her to carve out a space for herself. How could anyone deny her yearning to practice her passion and uncover the part of herself she selflessly tabled? What she needs is freedom without judgment from Jack, and that’s a two-way street that could lead to their tragic demise. This Is Us presents a heartbreakingly realistic illustration of a marriage at a crossroads: Can Jack and Rebecca grow at the same speed, or will they continue to collide and crash?

This Is Us returns for Season 2 on Tuesday, September 26 at 9/8c on NBC.

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Rebecca Pearson should be given the space to be more than a homemaker

By Reed Gaudens | Jul 27, 2017

‘This Is Us’ paints an honest picture of a matriarch who appears to have a fulfilling home life. But Rebecca Pearson deserves personal fulfillment, too.