Show Dogs: The wait is over, the worst movie of the year has arrived

Show Dogs via EPK Press Kit
Show Dogs via EPK Press Kit /
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Why, Show Dogs? We had a great thing going in theaters. Moviegoers almost made it through half of 2018 with amazing movies premiering every other week! But our fun had to end, the worst movie of the year has arrived.

I take that back, this does not mean it’s the end. There is still plenty of fun to go around at the movies! Along with Show Dogs, the sequel to Deadpool premieres this weekend. A movie we have been wanting to see! So, rejoice, all hope is not lost at the theater.

Before Show Dogs wagged its tail in theaters, we got to love Avengers: Infinity War, Black Panther, Ready Player Oneand A Quiet Place, among a few others. And more are on the way! We’re still waiting for the arrival of Ant-Man and the Wasp, Solo: A Star Wars Story, Incredibles 2, and more! And up until this coming Friday, even the average movies haven’t been so bad (Life of the Party, Rampage, Peter Rabbit). But after several hits, we should have seen Show Dogs coming to ruin the streak.

Show Dogs
Show Dogs via EPK Press Kit /

Show Dogs follows detective Frank (Will Arnett) and his canine partner Rottweiler Max (voiced by Chris “Ludacris” Bridges). Frank and Max don’t get along. At all. But they have reluctantly paired up to work together and go undercover to participate in an exclusive dog show.

For the advanced screening we attended in Dallas, Show Dogs partnered with the Dallas Humane Society. Many dogs were at the location, happy and eager to find a forever home. Playing with the dogs and learning about how we can help the shelter was the only good thing about that day.

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How bad is Show Dogs? I found it so unwatchable, I walked out before it finished. The jokes are not funny. Someone gathered the lamest dad jokes for this. The movie is predictable, the plot slow and unoriginal. Before you call me a hater who didn’t give the movie a chance, know that I stayed for almost 50 minutes. That’s a little over the movie’s 92 minute runtime.

I have a four-year-old boy, I don’t pass up advanced screenings to family movies. I actually look forward to them and never miss one. My only fault? Not checking out the trailer before going. I only saw the poster, cast, read the synopsis, and figured it may be an okay movie. Fun for my kid, maybe not so much for me, but I would watch it for his sake and review it fairly with children in mind. Neither of us had any fun at all and couldn’t walk out of the theater fast enough. Those 50 minutes felt like hours.

A red flag that this movie is awful is the embargo. Press reviews are not allowed until the evening before the movie premieres. When the embargo is so close to the film’s premiere, it either means production does not want spoilers to be released so audiences get the most out of the movie or it’s so bad they want to hold off on reviews for as long as they can. In this case, it’s clearly the latter.

Show Dogs
Show Dogs via EPK Press Kit /

Next: Movies available on Redbox in May

If you want to spend some time at the movies with your family or kids, go watch literally anything else. Okay, maybe don’t take your little kids to A Quiet Place, and definitely not Deadpool 2, but you know what I mean. You can also download the app My Talking Pet, which lets you upload a photo of your pet and animate it to appear as if he is talking (with your voice). You’ll have more fun with the app than watching Show Dogs. And paying for the app is a lot cheaper than paying to watch the movie, which CGI quality matches the app.

Show Dogs is in theaters tomorrow, Friday, May 18. Go watch literally anything else, instead. 

The movie also stars voices of Jordin Sparks, Gabriel Iglesias, Natasha Lyonne, Shaquille O’Neal, Alan Cumming, and Stanley Tucci.